Midget? Short stuff? Even when you clearly pass the 5 ft. limit, are words that you are probably well acquainted with by now. But is that enough because you’re vertically challenged?
Being short is a struggle every day, not because you yourself make it that way but more or less because people around you will take it up as their mandate to remind you every once in a while. If only stating the obvious made everyone rich.
1. You can’t reach to punch anyone
So as our first response to people telling us that we’re short comes in form of our natural animal instinct. Now we’re not exactly going to physically harm you but we do give it a very good thought.
2. It’s either sleeves too long, pants too long, kameez too long, shawl too big
Surprisingly our world doesn’t revolve around everyone who reminds us that we’re short. We’ve got problems of our own buddy. When we go out to get clothes our size nothing fits. Blessed are the days when the short kameez trend came back. As far as the shawls are concerned we could make ourselves a tent from them!
3. Shoe sizes are a big pain
Alright so with our short height comes adorable tiny feet which, just for the record, people in China totally have a thing for. The problem here is that it’s hard to find nice shoes in Pakistan that are like size 4 or something.
4. Heels are you best friends
Yes heels at one point or another do become our best friends. However contrary to popular belief we don’t wear them only for the sake of looking taller, but heels are just nice to wear. And boy, if you think we’re not up to the challenge try running in 6 inch heels then talk to us. Yes we have the ability to do that.
5. Hugs are awkward
Once we’re past that, the most awkward thing for us are hugs. Because the face to arm to chest ratio just doesn’t match. If you hug a girl your face is buried in the most awkward spot, if you hug a guy you’re near their chest and its totally suffocating. But we’re still down for hugs because we’re cool like that.
6. Walking up the stairs is a nightmare
You’re just praying and hoping to god the person in front of you doesn’t stop or turn around because either you’re left with a butt view or the crotch view. Neither of which we wanna see.
7. Your feet don’t touch the ground
Our feet never touch the ground. We get to swing our feet back and forth till our heart is content. It also does make us happy. Unless it’s one of those formal lunches/dinners where we gotta sit upright and push our chair as close to the table as possible.
8. You have to have customized mirror settings
We’ll just never understand the definition of what the standard height is for placing a mirror. Like guys seriously why you gotta put it up so high?
9. Seat belts don’t work for you
The whole “tumharay pair pedals tak pohanch jain gain?” is inevitable coming from anyone who’ll sit next to you. But that’s okay we can live with that, it’s the seat belt that is annoying AF! It keeps hurting at the neck.
10. You try your best to avoid crowds
About to go sit on seats at the cinema we’re hoping no one tall is at the front because then the whole movie is just you basically switching your head left and right every few minutes to get a better angle. The same goes for when you find yourself in a crowd. There just isn’t a clear view of anything unless someone is willing to give way so you can reach the front to actually see what’s going on.
11. You’re like John Cena to some people
People will also feel free to reach over your head to grab things. Personal space aside, but do you really not see my existence right in front of you? Like really you can’t see me? That’s a big NO NO and although we can’t jump to punch you but head-butting is always an option 🙂
12. Car full of people means you’re a loser who sits in laps
Be it family or friends you’re going out with in a jam packed car you automatically know you’re going to end up on someone’s lap. WORST RIDE EVER!
13. Good luck trying to fold bedsheets
Another struggle is trying to fold bed sheets. Hahaha, this ones just really funny though (our sense of humor is very good BTW). Where do you start? Where do you end? Do you just give up and roll around it? Who knows?
14. Grocery shopping from those top shelves is a no
Our upper body strength and calves are bomb BTW, why you might ask? Because to reach the top shelves in the kitchen is more of a work out. We climb that shit and will not hesitate to jump our heart out to grab the top shelf item at the grocery store. No sir, thank you we do not need your help.
15. Swimming means you’re fighting for your life to stay afloat
This one is sad and funny at the same time because you just stepped into the pool and the water is already half way through your neck. What do you do then? Pretty much just float/swim your way to the deep end where all your friends are chilling.
16. “Tiny legs” follows you everywhere you go
As we’ve established our legs are short, hence tiny steps and that results in comparatively slow walking. Its really not our fault lol be courteous slow down for us!
17. And there are the endless jokes you have to deal with
Now to start with the jokes because there’s a long list:
“Bachay baro ki baton may nahi boltay”
“Neechay ka mausam kaysa hai?”
“Wo gana suna hai? Jiski biwi choti uska bhi bara naam hai goud may bithalo bachay ka kya kaam hai?”
“Tum itni choti hi raho gi?”
“How do they let you ride the rides? Isn’t there a height limit?”
18. Literally everyone notices weight gain or loss
Another problem is that a pound gained or lost for that matter is never gone unnoticed! So we gotta be super in touch with our physique.
19. Kids are taller than you
Ahh the most annoying part however is when there are like 10 year old kids who are taller than you. Its only at this point you really question the purpose of your life.
20. Friends use you as an arm rest to look super tall in pictures
Your friends will never hesitate to put their arm on your head and reveal to you how its a perfect fit! and your girl friends will always make sure everyone has gathered for a picture in a way that they look taller! -_-
21. But this helps you stay cute, always and forever
No one is willing to take us seriously, we’ll always be way too cute or adorable. But trust me you’ve been warned in the words of Yoda “size matters not!” So when we do unleash our wrath be prepared!
But to be very honest there’s nothing wrong with being short. On a serious note its nothing we had control over, blame our genes or God for making us fun sized. We couldn’t have been happier really(even if the rishta aunties want a tall bride, LOL just know that both tall and short guys go for short girls), we do really enjoy being just the height that we are! Believe it or not there’s a whole lot of perks to it. Leg room in the plane or the bus is never an issue so good luck to you buddy try stretching out, for one.
But here’s wishing more power to all you li’l spice bombs. You keep being fun sized and don’t let no one talk you down!
Cover image via: Arif Soomro / tribune.com.pk