We have vented again and again and AGAIN about all that is wrong with the matchmaking industry in Pakistan. There have been multiple talk shows, theater productions, articles, movies, dramas, jokes, viral videos; safe to say the subject matter has been adapted in multiple mediums and there is still so much more that needs to be done to fully transform the multi-million wedding industry.
One person on the internet decided to turn the tables with her hilarious jab at the shaadi culture in Pakistan.
Tania Rashid is an educationalist with special interest in educational prospects for street children. She is also deeply passionate about gender issues and aspires for avenues to create greater sensitization.
It was this very spirit that made her post a rishta ad for a “friend” deconstructing unnecessarily high standards set for Pakistani women – that, too, in our maadri zabaan.
Kamyaab shaadi ka raaz: baray buzurg kehte hain, har qadm pay shoher ko compromise karna chaheaye, kyunke aurat, aurat hoti hai aur kabhi jhukti nahin. Shaadi na chalne ki surat mai, zimadari bhi shoher ki hai kyunke sirf woh hi ghar par barbaadi ya abaadi lanay ki muqamal qo’ot rakhta hai
In the status update posted on Facebook, Tania tried to hilariously turn the narrative against men.
“Tall, good looking, gora, 6 pack-abs, blue eyes (preferable)”
Some of the eligibility requirements include:
–Sughar (gharelu kaam kaaj atay hoon)
–Should be able to cook a variety of dishes eg. korma, biryani, other desi khanay etc.
-Biwi kay waldain kay ghar rahaish pay razamand
-Biwi aur uske waldain ki farmabardari aur khidmat karta ho (yeh uska farz hai aur Jannat janay ka zariya bhi) aur unse dheeme lehjay mai baat karay
Also tackling the important question of restrictions set by the in-laws, Tania indulges in heavy body and character policing:
-Fahash kapre (jaise: bunyan, nicker) pehnay ki har giz ijazat nhi hai kyunke saas, susar ko nhi pasand
-Bedroom kay bahir, maya wali shalwar qameez hi pehne
-Shaadi say pehle koi affair na rha ho
– Gher larkio say dosti karne ka khwahishmand na ho
-Na mehram aurto/ larkio say parhez kare, zarurat parhne par nazar jhuka kar baat kare
The list of demands cited progress towards education, rights of in-laws, dowry, lifestyle and general behavior attributed to women as “appropriate”
-Parha likha ho (minimum masters) magar nokri ki ijazat nahi hai kyunke zamana boht kharab hai!
-Roz roz apne ma baap say milnay ka khwahishmand na ho kyunke ab say saas, susar hi uske maa baap hain
-Saas, susr ko bata kar aur unki ijazat lay kar ghar say nikle
-Jahez mai gaari, fridge, microwave aur zarurat ka samaan saath lay kar aye
-Akele bahir janay say gurez kare, khaas tor pay maghrib kay baad (biwi saath ho toh theek hai)
-Har baat pay biwi ka mashwara leta ho (kyunke woh ‘aurat’ hai aur usay behtar pata hai)
-Biwi kisi baat say mana kar day toh woh wahin khatam kar di jaye (faislay lene wali/sarbarah aurat hai)
-Shareef khandaan say ta’aluq rakhta ho aur ghar bhi achi jagah ho
-Jhagray ki surat mai shoher ko khamoshi ikhtiyar kar leni chaheaye, warna nateejay ka zimaydaar woh khud ho ga
The post has since been shared and liked hundreds of times with people leaving comments of appreciation
Speaking to MangoBaaz about her post, Tania shared the backstory, “The idea for this post came when some of my girlfriends and I were exchanging notes over the dinner table on the rishta requirements of and expectations from a ‘bahu’ by a typical Pakistani household. Through this status, we wished to turn the tables and show how unreasonable these expectations really are. It was interesting to read that many commentators thought such a guy could only be artificially manufactured (like a robot) or found in museums. If that is the case for men, one tends to think why it is so easy for our society to transform women into these ‘artificially manufactured robots’?”
Eye opening, indeed.
If you find a man that qualifies for Tania’s “friend”, leave a comment below otherwise, try to do what little you can to question and abolish impossible standards and outdated gender roles.
Cover image via: Vice.com