17 Haraam AF Songs That Are Totally NOT SAFE For Ramazan

By Shehzil Zahid | 9 Jun, 2016

You’re with a roza, your productivity levels are rock bottom and you want to distract yourself from falling asleep… or thinking about food. We’ve got just the thing for you. Be careful though, roll your car windows up and then blast these sinful songs. That’s a safe place to play out your Whitney Houston fantasy.

So let’s take a look at them:


1. Laal Ghagra – RDB

A staple Punjabi wedding song, this is a great one to kickstart your playlist and get you in the mood.


2. DJ Waley Babu – Badshah 


DJ Waley Babu is the kind of song that was made for your inner cheapster. The lyrics are fun, the swagger infectious and the vibe is completely chichora. You can’t get any more maila than this – though the next one does come pretty close…


3. Tattad Tattad – Ram-Leela (film) 

Ram jee ki chaal dekho, indeed.

Every desi female knows the moment she knew thirst for what it was – Ranveer Singh in Goliyon ki Raasleela Ram-Leela. And where would you and your boys be without the anthem and dance moves to complete your life?


4. Dheere Dheere – Honey Singh

Say what you want about Hrithik’s oddly-highlighted hair and Honey Singh’s musical ability but the former’s still got the best moves in Bollywood and the latter revamped an old classic into a highly enjoyable sing-along.


5. Kar Gayi Chull – Kapoor & Sons (film)

This one makes you wanna put your hands in the air and dance along, too – but be careful and DON’T LET GO bilkul hee. You don’t want to look like a fool at the office.

JK, lol, put ’em UP!


6. Pillowtalk – Zayn Malik

Zayn Malik broke up with One Direction, then proceeded to break up with Perrie Edwards – only to then get with supermodel Gigi Hadid for a super steamy NSFW solo debut – thus, effectively breaking hearts everywhere.


7. Hold On, We’re Going Home – Drake

And boy, don’t you WISH you could romance a girl like Drake does? Skip ahead to the 2:33 minute mark if short random ass films don’t do it for you.


8. Work – Rihanna

Obviously, there can be no Drake without Rihanna, who make up the two halves to the cutest celebrity couple that never was. “Work” is all about how a career woman’s trying to get it together but some weak fool can’t keep his insecurities in check.


9. Turn Me On – Kevin Little

You KNOW this was your khala’s jam when she came to pick you up from school.


10. Sayonee – Junoon

And this hypnotic Junoon single haunted your dreams when it first came out, so why not keep you company during your roza?


11. Tujhe Dekha Tou Ye Jaana Sanam

This fan favorite came out back when unibrows and hideous shades of blue dominated television screens – perfect for when you’re at a stop and bae pulls up in the car next to you. Alternatively, also okey-doke for when you’re trying to make it out of Centaurus parking alive, and the boy/girl giving you breathing space is poondi material…


12. Afghan Jalebi – Phantom (film)

…so then you’re really tempted to make a solid impression by lip-syncing Afghan Jalebi at them, but you’re also kind worried you’ll come off way too strong.

Also, jalebiiiiii…


 13. Ishq Tera – Sukhbir

The video for this song has the dance-off to beat all other dance-offs, and really you can’t help but move along even if you’re dying of thirst #BhangraLife


14. Waqt – Entity Paradigm 

Waqt is good for rainy days, and when you’re in the mood for a little old-school Fawad Khan – the one who played gigs at your school for your farewell, pre-Humsafar levels of popularity.


15. O Hum Dum/Say My Name – The Cheapmunks

The Cheapmunks brought us this mashup of Saathiya’s “O Hum Dum” and Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name”. No one can do angst and drama quite like Pakistanis can, and this song kinda’ proves it.


16. Dowain Jaaniya – Heera Group

The one song from your mom’s jawani which still – to this day – makes her sing and dance.


17. Needed Me – Rihanna

Rihanna makes her another appearance on this list with a second very NSFR* video  – favourite words to sing in this song include, “you was just another nigga on the hitlist” followed by “fuck your white horse and your carriage”.


*NSFR = Not Safe For Ramazan

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