The Lyceum School is an A Level Institution in Karachi. It’s the size of a matchbox, but that matchbox houses an array of different kinds of people from different backgrounds.

If you want to get an idea about Karachi’s general population, the students at Lyceum are a pretty decent representation. Here are the kinds of people you’re most likely to meet in Lyceum:

1. The MUN Squad

If you ever happen to approach them, 70% of their conversation will be about an upcoming MUN event or an event that recently passed. They never sleep on their work, which would explain all of Lyceum’s MUN trophies.

2. The Rowers

They’re the closest things Lyceum has to jocks. They win their school a shit ton of medals, so they’re pretty much considered to be the shaan of the school.

3. The Sports Crew

These guys are involved in raking in even more medals and trophies. If you’re lucky, you can catch a glimpse of them every time they leave for after school practices or when they’re called up on stage during assembly to receive the aforementioned medals and trophies.

4. The Music Society Members

Also known as Lytunes, they’re a pretty big part of Lyceum and its events. They’re actually a pretty talented bunch and they know their stuff really well. Attending a musical event is an actual treat, thanks to these guys.

5. The Theater Kids

These guys are uber talented and responsible for some of Lyceum’s biggest events. Their patrons are pretty great too. They’re like future Humsafar/Zindagi Gulzar Hai actors/directors in the making.

6. The Slam Poets and Literature Buffs

They mesmerize you with their words, should you choose to attend their events. They’re pretty cool and hella intellectual, but are probably the most underrated.

7. The Stoner Group

These people will smoke up in the bathroom or show up high to school. They don’t really do much damage (except to their lungs and minds, but chill hai.) They usually disappear into the background, unless someone does something stupid, like show up to school with spiked brownies.

8. The Library Group

They spend most of their time (pretty much all two years of their A Level) in the library and you never really see them except in class or on the day of your exams.

9. The Perfectionists

These guys will balance their social life and studies with terrifying ease. They’ll be at all the parties, but they’ll ace all their exams too. These guys are pretty much the most mentally intimidating people alive, but you don’t feel it because they’re so damn perfect at everything, including socializing.

10. The Gay-zone Enthusiasts

Don’t quite know the history behind how a place where people play table tennis came to be known as the gay zone, but it’s predominantly crowded by guys who pretty much just sit on benches or play table tennis. Or wait on moorahs to play table tennis. Very exciting.

11. The Popular Kids

They have their place on the benches/moorahs in front of or next to the canteen. They mostly keep within their groups, but are also talked about the most. Because Pakistan and rumors go hand in hand.

12. Victor

Anyone who has ever been in Lyceum will know about Victor. He’s hell bent on following and enforcing rules (maybe even more than the actual administration,) he’s strict and he’s way too loud. He’s also best identified by the key phrase: “NO PHYSICAL!” every time any two human beings, regardless of their gender, come into physical contact.

13. The Guys Who Irritate Victor

Their sole purpose is to get him to yell and threaten them or to drag their asses to the principal’s office. They get their phones confiscated every other day and then try to sweet talk their way out of it.

14. Bashir Bhai

He’s the head chef of the canteen and he’s pretty much got mad kitchen skills. Handling sweaty, loud kids at the canteen from 8 am to 5 pm is no joke, yet this man does it, and does a damn fine job too. His specials (the meal of the day) are pretty decent, given their low prices and amazing taste. Special mention: his killer fries. (Killer because they probably contain loads of carcinogens but hey, at least they taste good.)

15. The Bashir Bhai Fans

These people either have their own equation with Bashir Bhai or are straight up crazy about his specials. They order one every single day and are usually seen shouting his name at the canteen.

16. The Couples

Every batch has a couple, maybe even more than one. Lyceum is ridiculously small and also extremely strict, which makes it impossible for any possible action within school premises. Still, you can see these two walking around school or sitting in a corner or on one of the benches, trying to have a conversation. Chances are, they’ll be surrounded by their friends who are trying to make things awkward.

Special Mention: The Animal Life

Lyceum is filled with cats and their endless offspring trying to steal fries or specials. There’s even a seasonally pregnant cat that never stops reproducing. Lastly, there’s the turtle in the fountain (fondly called Aristurtle by literature buffs) who’s just been swimming there for a bunch of years. Chances are, he’s not the same turtle every batch sees, but he lives on through his offspring (or other store bought turtles.)

Lyceumites don’t have a lot to do within the confines of school, but all these different kinds of people make up the life of the school itself. Lyceum is one of those places that is remembered more through the people you meet and the friends and memories that you make, instead of the school itself.