Before you go on a rant against me and give me a lecture on what all an ammi does for her children and how ungrateful and badtameez I am, let me tell you this: I love and respect my mother with all my heart and I don’t need to be reminded of everything she’s done for me. But here’s the thing, regardless of my endless love and respect for her, I do not want to be just like her. Here’s why:
1. She’s selfless
Well, that’s not just my mother. Every mother around the world is so selfless that it literally tears me up to think about what all they have given up to provide us with the life that we have today. I can’t even imagine doing half of what my mom does for us every day.
2. She works tirelessly
She is the first one to wake up and the last one to go to bed. When I am tired after a long day at work, I will get home, eat and pass out. But no matter how tired she is, she keeps going. She has the longest work hours and that too with no compensation. Not even a thank you because we are oh-so-busy in our own lives. Who would take up that kind of job? Only a mom!
3. She is patient…a bit TOO patient.
UFF! I don’t get this about my ammi. How can she be so patient? Having to bear with kids like myself is not an easy task, yet she manages. And she does an amazing job, too. She tolerates all kinds of nonsense from us and never complains. Okay wait, she does complain sometimes but she never stops putting up with us. I would never be able to do that. Not even when I have my own kids!
4. She is forgiving. ALWAYS
I can be very mean at times. Well, most of the times. And ammi often becomes the target of my rudeness as well. There are times when I have hurt her but she brushes it off like nothing happened. I can never do that.
If you say something hurtful to me, I remember what exactly you said, when you said it. I even remember the color of clothes you were wearing when you said it – so, no! I can’t be forgiving because I can’t let people walk all over me. And sometimes I wish my ammi wouldn’t either. It’s not fair.
5. She compromises
A LOT. She compromises a lot more than anyone ever should have to. And she compromises to keep people around her happy. While I do respect her for doing this, I cannot do this myself. Compromises are unavoidable but compromises should not be the only way to maintain peace and happiness.
6. Did I talk about her patience, yet?
Oh, I did? Yeah well, there’s just way too much of it.
She maintains her calm when everyone else in the house is losing their shit. How can she possibly do that? She is so calm and composed that it’s actually frightening at times. I can’t do that, mom! I will yell and cry and break down but I can’t be calm like you!
7. She’s concerned about the opinions of others
I know she knows better but there is something that stops her from questioning the ghisse-pitte norms of society. She’s always concerned about log kya kahenge even if she knows that it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to follow the norms when I know they are wrong! I will rebel against anything that I feel is wrong.
8. She is always there!
Even when she has lots going on at her own end, she will be there for you when you need her. I, on the other hand, need my time first! I need to be fine to be able to help someone else out. She will be there for you and will make you feel better even when she knows you are wrong.
Me? If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Can’t muster up that kind of sympathy. I wish I could. But I can’t. Ammi wins.
9. She never takes time off
She’ll always be doing one thing or the other around the house. There has never been a single day that she has spent all by herself, pampering herself. And she won’t allow you to do it for her either.
10. She will literally do anything for you!
This doesn’t just apply to my ammi. Ammis all over will do anything to provide for you and to keep you happy. She will go miles and miles just to keep you safe.
Moms, that’s not the right thing to do. Think about yourselves too. Moreover, think about what you want and like and stop putting us over your desires all the time.
So you see, I don’t want to be like her because she is all of these things and I simply can’t compare. I know most of you will say “Jab khud maa banogi pata chalega.” My mom says that too. And who knows, that may even be true. But I still do think we need to cut our moms some slack and appreciate them even more. On that note, a very Happy Mother’s Day to all the ammis out there, especially mine.
Do you have a message for your mom? Let us know how much you love her in the comments below.
Cover image via Indus Talkies/ZAB Films