Most of our desi parents have this dream of marrying their daughter to a “well-settled guy who lives abroad” as if larka bahir na rehta ho toh settled he nahi hota. And why? Well, the list is pretty long. Guess what? I did get married to a guy who lived in Dubai and I swear it’s not what I expected.
So lets see how people think your life is like vs how it actually is:
It’s somehow assumed that you are on a permanent honeymoon
Where in reality, right after getting married, the responsibility of being a real adult and all the excessive work load makes you forget that you are in fact “newly married”. Most of your days consist of constant arguing about who will do the dishes and who will cook. Yeah, these desi problems still exist abroad too. Even in Dubai.
People think ke akeli rehti hai, kitna sakoon hoga
What they don’t know is that sakoon kuch zyada he hota hai. Just because you don’t have your loved ones or any familiar face around you (other than your husband of course), you often cry your eyes out for no reason at all on a daily basis.
People think ke koi kaam dhanda nahi hota dono ko
Asliat ye hai kay you have to do stuff you never ever thought of doing. From doing the dishes to washing clothes to cooking food everyday to washing the bathroom and what not, everything needs to be done by you, that too without any sort of help. So you spend most of your weekends cleaning around with your other half.
How romantic right?
Oh, people think you’re rolling in cash
Foreign currency hai toh bohat paisa hoga yaar. Excuse me, sorry to burst everyone’s little bubble laikin no matter which part of the world you are in, earning money is equally hard. So no, money does not grow on trees even for us.
You guys may think it’s a party, but it’s really FAR from the truth.
You are problem free, as if saray masail toh bas Pakistan me he hain
Every country has its own set of masail. Load shedding nahi hoti but humaray bartan kaam wali nahi dhonay aati. Guests kam atay hain but we’re also desperate to have relatives and friends from back home visit us.
No joint family? No problem.
It’s true that we don’t have to live in a joint family which is why we’re the hot topic for all married girls who do live with their families. Often, I have to listen to stuff like kitni lucky hai yar tension free rehti hai. But have you thought about what we do when we get sick and tired and can’t even move to get a glass of water? We still get up and cook dinner and get things done not only for us but for everyone, because if we won’t do it, no one will do it for us. That’s the other side of the picture my friend.
Shadi hotay he dono independent hogayay hain wow.
What they don’t know is how much effort and energy it takes every single day to make it work. What they don’t realise is that this is what being an actual adult is like. So yes we are independent but, we never got to come to an already settled home that our elders made where we only had to worry about paying for our part and helping out in the kitchen.
That’s right, breaking news, we started from the scratch.
Bahir rehtay hain na, no responsibilities.
You have your financial and social obligations if there’s a shaadi in the family or in case of a death. Jee haan hume koi maafi nahi hai just because we don’t live there.
You’re always chilling.
Just because we live in another country does not mean that its all about shopping sprees, parties and chilling on the beach. Dubai sounds like a walk in the park, but it’s really not. We have a home here, for which we are solely responsible. There are times we even have to give up tons of stuff just because we need new curtains or a carpet change.
We’re away from all the family drama
But what we also miss are the weddings, the Eid dawats and all those events that never happen here. While everyone back home is enjoying all of it we’re basically trying to distract ourselves just so we don’t feel left out. We miss getting the pyaar and duas from the elders and shaam ki chai with the whole clan. See we too have hearts. Woh sab Dubai main thori na milta.
At the end of the day, no matter where we go, our heart is always back in our country with our loved ones. Kahin bhi chalay jain kuch bhi kar len nothing can beat the love of our country that we take with us and constantly miss.
What do you think Dubai is like? Let us know if you want more snippets of reality.
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Cover image via: cosmopolitanme.com