Let’s start off with a basic definition:
Feminism does not equate to women hating men. That’s called intolerance. Feminism calls for equality between both sexes. It says so in the dictionary. Can’t argue with facts.
Being a feminist, one has to deal with a lot of unwanted attention, taunts and sandwich jokes that just aren’t funny. However, it is an inarguable fact that there is an obvious imbalance between the rights and freedom of both the sexes. That’s exactly why feminism is integral to our society.
Celebrities and social media icons have spoken up about differences in wage gaps, the dire lack of female leads and the definite need for the empowerment of women.
Here in Pakistan, however, the struggles of a feminist go beyond having to explain its basics.
These are a few of our daily struggles:
Dealing with our male friends
A lot of our male friends aren’t well aware of the idea of feminism. For them, a feminist is basically seen as an angry female who can be aggravated more by making sexist jokes. Others consider us to be man-hating monsters. They lather on the insults, pass around pictures of bachis while objectifying them and think it’s okay to call someone a bitch if they object to it.
I’m not saying that dealing with these friends is hard, but every so often, you find yourself clenching your fist, trying to hold back a punch.
Dealing with our parents
Not all parents fully grasp the idea that it’s 2015 and it’s okay for women to speak out against what they feel is wrong or unjust. Our protests are likely to be met by chup kar jao beta, tumhein abhi samajh nahi ayega.
Says the man who can’t work his basic cell phone. #justsayin
Dealing with desi aunties
“Beta, aap toh bohot frank ho”
“Beta, humare zamaney main yeh sab feminism sheminism nahi tha”
“Beta, aap itna boleingi toh shaadi kaun karega?”
The list of unnecessary input given by farigh aunties goes on.
Dealing with labels that people give you
Most of the time, people will judge you based on stereotypes circulated around in the media. They’ll assume you have anger issues and you plan on annihilating the male species. Some go as far as to assume you’re a lesbian if you’re standing up for women. There’s no logic behind it, it’s just a something certain people firmly believe.
“Feminist hai? Gussa roz aata hoga”
“Oye, feminist hai? Lesbian hogi“
Because if I chose to support animal rights instead, I’d obviously be an animal.
Dealing with sexist bosses
This is the worst situation to be in. You want to say something but you know you’re probably going to end up getting fired. As a result, you deal with your boss’ obnoxious humor and his “funny” anecdotes, all while trying not to drive the nib of your pen through his carotid artery.
Dealing with significant others
It is extremely hard to find someone who ticks all the boxes. You’re already notorious as an angry, man-hating lesbian, which narrows down the pool considerably. Sometimes, you find someone who seems perfect all the way UNTIL they make a joke about your place being in the kitchen.
The good thing is, this is usually something under your control. You end up saying Allah Hafiz to their misogynistic asses. Unless you’re dealing with parents who don’t understand, in which case, you’ll probably end up getting rishta-ed to someone like this and learn to live with it for the rest of your life.
Dealing with anonymous hate
When you’re vocal about your feminist views on social media platforms, you tend to come under fire a lot. These people mostly happen to be a bunch of smart asses hiding behind their phone/laptop screens, passing a comment here and there about how feminism shouldn’t be a thing. Their comments lack constructive criticism of any sort and they probably comment for the sake of stirring up some drama. They’re actually pretty sad, tbh.
Source: DIY LOL
Dealing with feminazis
These guys are the ones who’ve earned us all our notoriety. We don’t agree with their extreme views, where they think it’s okay to hate men and label and objectify them as they please. They’re a thorn in our side, too. We apologize on their behalf.
Dealing with anti-feminists
Also known as meninists, their argument is always that women don’t have it hard or men have it just as hard. They ridicule the basic concept of feminism, calling it baseless.
The fact that this sort of thinking still exists is the reason why we need feminism. Why is the empowerment of women considered to be such an unimaginable concept?
Feminism is creeping its way up into our society. It has definitely faced a lot of backlash, and will continue doing so, just like every other movement. Despite this, there are numerous platforms where you can share your thoughts and multiple organisations and campaigns that you could support if you agree with the idea of feminism.
In the end, with feminists growing in number and feminism on the rise, let’s just try to ease their daily struggle. Agree to disagree.
However, let’s just agree on one thing:
Cover Image Source: Express Tribune
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