Ever faced problems in your relationship and had your partner complain about how you’re not doing enough? Or maybe you hear a lot about how you’re being an asshole? Well, as much as you kinda maybe want to deny it, there’s always the possibility that you really are the problem.
Here’s how you can know for sure:
1. So you know that feeling you get where you think everything is about you? That’s you being self absorbed
That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Kabhi kabhaar, it’s about your partner, too. Also, it’s actually possible to function in a relationship without making everything about yourself. Who would’ve thought, right?
2. You don’t really know how to be emotionally responsive when it comes to your relationship
So you’re not the best at forming emotional connections. Some would even throw around terms like “emotionally unavailable,” “emotionally dead” or stuff like “you don’t have a heart.” Unfortunately, you kinda know deep down that this is sort of valid.
3. Or responsive in general, tbh
You know that thing you might be doing where you forget to reply or drift off mid conversation? Turns out, that’s not really healthy for your relationship. Establishing solid communication is what you should technically be aiming for.
4. You’re kind of flaky in your relationship
If you’re bailing on plans, or bailing in general when your partner needs you, you’re actually a huge part of the problem. Yes, it’s easy to not be around for what you see as drama. But that kinda sorta makes you an asshole.
5. Any form of criticism falls on your deaf ears
Do you maybe think you’re perfect and can do no wrong? Are you kinda horrible at accepting the idea of making certain tweaks to your personality to be a better person? If yes, then uh, yeah – you’re probably going to want to fix that attitude.
6. But you’re great at having your criticism heard
So you suck at taking criticism, but are you maybe great at dishing it out? Do you have a knack for pointing out your partner’s flaws, especially when they highlight yours? Are you basically impossible to talk to (or so you’ve been told?) Because this, too, can cause problems in a relationship.
7. You’re kind of ungrateful about your relationship and your bae
Do you overlook everything that your partner does for you? Are you basically thankless in general? It’s easy to forget to be grateful for the wonderful person your partner is every now and then, but if it happens all the time – that does not bode well for you.
8. You have a problem admitting it when you’re wrong in your relationship
No one likes admitting they’re wrong, but not everyone can be right all the time, can they? Especially if someone is blatantly pointing out where you’re wrong and you still refuse to work on it.
9. And will almost always try to blame your partner
You think it’s a lot easier to dump everything on your partner, even when you’re to blame.
10. Your partner has a hard time trusting you
Your asshole tendencies have long shaken your partner’s faith in you and they can’t seem to fully trust you because of the way you are.
11. You let your partner handle all the problems
Your problems are their problems, but their problems are also solely their problems. That, itself, is a huge issue. If you can’t help in handling any maslay that may come up, kya faida?
12. You have a habit of resorting to emotional blackmail in your relationship
Not only is this a very asshole-ish move, it’s also straight up wrong and fucks with people’s heads.
13. Empathy? Compromise? Woh kya hai?
Since you may be a bit of a narcissist, you might have a tendency to not see past yourself. This basically renders you useless when it comes to seeing things from your partner’s point of view. You also don’t believe in meeting your partner halfway and want stuff done according to your convenience. Because mehnat kya hoti, right?
14. You’ve had this fact pointed out to you loads of times
You know, one of the most tell-tale sings of you being the asshole in the relationship is when you’ve explicitly been told that you are. Can’t get any clearer than that. Perhaps, you not being able to admit you’re wrong, and deflecting every time your flaws are highlighted, has made you immune to this altogether?
15. And you kinda low key know you’re an asshole
You’ve actually thought about this and have kind of wondered if there’s any truth to the accusations. Maybe you’ve even reflected on all the times you’ve made things harder for your partner.
If a lot of these points resonate with you, then, unfortunately, you’re probably a major reason why the relationship isn’t doing too well. Now that you know you’re a part of the problem, you can actually work on yourself and try to save the relationship before things get worse.
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Cover image via: Big Film Entertainment