They say anything you watch is bound to tamper with expectations about life and the notion of a dreamlike pyaar, be it grand or small. I mean it’s true, your expectations are in fact suddenly catapulted into another vast dimension with nothing but drooping stars swimming around your dazed head. In that moment it’s ‘oh, well I’m a goner now.’ So what one earth has dramas taught me about love? Well, quite a lot actually. Their moral didactic compass transcends time, and frankly, dramas have laid out hidden life lessons we could all use to sail through this mess we call life.
Always keep your heart open to the possibility of falling for someone outside your bubble; you never know what you might find. Ashar was hesitant to marry Khirad, a simple girl from a humble background while he himself hailed from a well-off family. He had constructed his own misconceived notions about her, often belittling her for her stature, however, he quickly found himself fumbling over her – it was a free-falling kind of love, and it was real.
If he doesn’t love you, leave; you’re worth far more. Yasmeen does precisely this – the best advice on a little loving is summed up in the breathtaking dialogues – we all deserve a love so deep, so profound and so gloriously requited, settling for less is an unfortunate norm that has to be ripped. She accepted it, and although it hurt her, her strength prevailed; “jaane woh kaise log the, jin ke pyaar ko pyaar mila.”
‘Zindagi Gulzar Hai’
It’s okay to let your guard down at times. It will never make you weak – rather, it will only strengthen you. Kashaf kept her armor sturdily about her, and hardly let anyone in. Zaroon’s growing curiosity about her led to various interactions, and what we ended up witnessing was something quite spectacular – Kashaf plunged into a deep love for someone she wouldn’t have thought twice about.
Time is never on our sides. Life is fleeting, so spend as much time as you can with the one you love – who knows what can happen. Hassan and Ban0 spent little time with one another, however, both and professed their love for each other, and soon they were engaged in a more conservative and traditional manner. Nonetheless, the erupting violence around pre-partition tore the two apart; nothing was ever the same.
Infatuation is not love – Falak didn’t understand this and suffered terribly. Salman was the man she dreamt of, the man who was the living embodiment of her sculpted statue. She refused to see the terrible side of him – all the arrogance, and all the disregard for anyone beyond himself. While those around her tried to warn her, Falak let infatuation blind her; she thought it was pyaar – when it wasn’t.
If anyone has done you wrong, fight for justice. A young Zebo was raped by Imtiaz, as her helpless mother Sajjo is locked in a room one day. Both mother and daughter aren’t bogged down, rather they strip themselves as the victims, and seek redemption.
Holding a grudge against someone close to you is honestly the most painful and selfish thing you can do, especially if the one you are upset loves you with the purest, most selfless love there is. This was a different kind of love; it was the bond of two brothers, inseparable at most – Behroze and Suhaib. When Behroze marries someone of his own accord, he is banished by his vindictive father, much to the dismay of Suhaib. Suhaib spends the rest of his life trying to bring Behroze back home, but Behroze won’t have it. He stays distant, cold and rude – and realizes just how much his younger brother loved him all too late; Suhaib suffers a heart attack and passes away.
If you aren’t respected, don’t dwell on what might be; move on in a fervent manner. Zara is humiliated constantly by her best friend Maleeha after Maleeha’s brother Junaid expresses interest in Zara – and how is Zara at fault? Well, class conflict is the premise of ‘Daam,’ whereby Zara is subjected to prejudice, often insulted. Zara never let her self-respect diminish, and when an opportunity arose to run – that’s precisely what she did. She started fresh, with a clean slate – and found someone who loved her for who she was.
Sajjal and Shahzaib were so wonderful for each other and so perfect. Their marriage was barely flawed, however since life is barely on our side, Shahzaib falls sick and eventually succumbs, leaving a broken Sajjal behind. How she mourns for him is both admirable and respectable.
‘Yakeen Ka Safar’
We all tend to live in the shadows of our past, and we’ve all done things or been in situations we might not be proud of. Zubia couldn’t let go and spent most of her life shutting people out and allowing her skeletons to tear through her closet. Asfandyar too had a traumatic past, what with the loss of his brother, but when he found a home in the form of Zubia, Zubia bolted; she was too afraid to let anyone close – and instead brushed him off coarsely (even though she loved him). You can not allow your past to define who you are, and although moving on his hard – it isn’t impossible. Just keep plowing on through.
Salahuddin thought himself not worthy of Mannu, even though he loved her more than life itself. He failed to stand up to his parents and rejected Mannu, who too loved him undyingly. Mannu’s life took a turn for the worst when she married an abusive drunk – and fate wasn’t done with Salahuddin nor Mannu; Salahuddin ended up her savior. What’s the lesson from here? Well, life is so short, and if someone is willing to put aside all sturdy notions that rattle such a belittling society then fight to be with them.