Okay, so let’s just get something straight about makeup. We don’t wear it to impress anyone. We wear it for ourselves. We wear it because we like it. We wear it because we want to. Just like you wear a watch on your wrist, we sometimes like to accessorize with gooey stuff on our face. And it’s serious business. It requires technique, immense patience and practice.
Any girl who wears makeup will relate to this:
1. When you go to a shop to buy random stuff and somehow magically end up buying three new lipsticks.They reached out to me. I had to.
2. When you master the art of putting makeup on the go because you are running late.
Someone give this woman a medal!
3. When you put eyeliner perfectly on one eye and the other eye gets jealous and decides to take revenge.
One eye to the other: Meri khushi tumse bardasht nahi hoti?
4. When you can’t afford to cancel plans because your makeup costs more than the food will.
I’m not wasting a perfectly done face of makeup for nothing. Nope.
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5. When you wonder where all your lipstick went and then you realize you ate it all right off your lips.
Oops.
6. When you mentally fix other people’s makeup in your head.
How hard is it to keep your lipstick within the lip-line?
7. When you’re on the internet for something important and end up watching makeup tutorials.
I was actually looking for umm…Oh lookie here. Smokey eyes.
8. When you attempt contouring to “transform your features”.
Sharp AF, right?
9. When the makeup tutorials deceive you.
Lies. All lies. Ye sab jhoot hai!
10. When others judge you for wearing makeup but you lost all the fucks to give the last time you went lipstick shopping.
They see me rollin’, they hatin’.
11. When your eyeshadow/powder/blush cracks into pieces and so does your soul.
12. When you realize the waterproof makeup will never come off.
WHYY?!
13. When your made-up face turns into a ‘saalan ki plate’ in summers.
Let it rain over me.
14. When repeatedly redoing your eyeliner feels like ‘saaday dil tey churiyaan chalaiyaan’ except that ‘dil’ is your face.
15. When you find makeup stains on your clothes.
You sneaky little shit!
16. When you can’t find a makeup product at the store and disappointment consumes you.
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
17. When you are about to go to sleep and you realize you still have to remove your makeup.
The absolute worse.
18. When your hand turns into a canvas for you to try shades on.
Adding a little color to life.
19. When you buy a lipstick without trying it on and later realize it looks like trash on you.
Error in judgment
20. When your handbag is a mini makeup store.
Saving face, one feature at a time.
21. When you end up looking like a panda trying to balance the amount of eyeliner on each eye.
Equal, finally!
22. When there’s lipstick on your teeth, your food, your cups or basically just about everything your mouth touches.
Leaving my mark in life. And on everything else.
23. When your makeup decides to reproduce and expand.
Or when you forget you’re wearing makeup and give your face a good ol’ rub.
24. When the ‘parlor wali bandi’ fucks your eyebrows and you die a little inside.
I will kill you in your sleep.
25. When you look ‘bemaar’ because you’re not wearing makeup and people ask you if you’re okay.
How very thoughtful of you to point out that I look sick without makeup.
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