This article is not to rub in your face if you don’t have a close relationship to your nand/bhabhi. This is purely written to show the Pakistani community that the nand/bhabhi relationship isn’t always bad, like straight out of a drama. You can actually have a healthy and wholesome relationship with each other without wanting to kill each other, or, I don’t know, steal each other’s husbands or jaidaads, as Ekta Kapoor will have us believe.

I grew up with one brother and two sisters. While the four of us were a lot for my mom to handle, there was always something missing.

Being the second eldest after my brother and the oldest out of the sisters, I always left like I was always expected to be the responsible, mature one. I was always in charge of the rest and was always put to work in the kitchen with my mom, and outside shoveling snow with my dad. As a kid, I was forced to grow up way too fast.

Then one day my brother fell in love and this girl suddenly became my bhabi.

She was this shy, timid creature that laughed when everyone else laughed and spoke only when spoken to. A few days went by and all of a sudden we were best friends. It did help that we were the same age (I don’t mean to brag but I’m 21 days older), we had the same values/morals, and we were super understanding of each other.

I was no longer the adult or the older sister, I no longer had the burden of all of these responsibilities on me. 

I had found my best friend and sister, all in one. I can’t remember a time that we properly got into an argument or fought, because we never let things reach that level. Over time we have learned to live one another and understand what the other person needs, without the other people having to ask. It’s this wild concept called mutual respect.

With the addition of my bhabhi into the family, the picture honestly felt complete.

To this day, even though I have a husband, I still call her my husband. We are inseparable and often, it’s the root of jealousy for people in our family. Unko samajh hi nahi ata yeh nand/bhabhi kyun ek dusray ke saath itni achi hain. But, we just aren’t the type of people to talk about each other to other people or if we have something to say just say it, rather than letting it fester inside.

She was/is the first person I go to complain to when I’m not feeling well, she’s the first person I turn to when I need advice. She’s also the first person I ask when I need help with something. Often times, she stops what she’s doing, because I need her and if that isn’t love I don’t know what is. I should tell her I appreciate more often because it’s always nice to hear that once in a while.

My home is her home away from home and I would never want her to not feel loved or wanted.

It is always hard for a woman to leave all the people she knows and her comfort place to go live with in-laws, but my sister-in-law mustered up the courage and left her homeland altogether to be with her husband. That’s a HUGE sacrifice. AND, she has adjusted with my family since day one. Why would I want to make her life any worse?

We respect each other and we truly care about each other. Sorry Ekta Kapoor, but I’m not about to pull a Komolika on my bhabhi.

The moral of the story is, don’t allow society and what you see to rule your life. If you see something you don’t like, be the first to try and make a change. Be kind and nice to people, because you don’t know what they’re going through. And most of all not all nand/bhabhi relationships are set up for failure. You can make sure of that yourself.

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