When you’re young, you tend to be a little too trusting of those around you. But can you ever fully trust the people you place your faith in?
24-year-old Hiba Faheem* learned a few things about trust, and our society, the hard way – when her nudes were unfortunately leaked online.
You often hear about photos being leaked. Whether you hear about it from within your social circle, or in passing – it’s something that happens time and again. But a strange thing happens when such incidents take place.
Hiba narrates the strangeness of the events that follow after her nudes got leaked
“When something like that happens, you can’t catch your breath for the longest time. So many thoughts cross your mind. Why did he do it? What did I do wrong? Why did I trust him? And, almost instantly after – what now? How many people know? How do I face people now?”
The log kya kaheinge aspect is what fills you with a heavy dreadfulness when something like this happens.
“Of course, I cursed myself for ever trusting the guy in the first place,” says Hiba. “But honestly, that took second place immediately. I didn’t have time to cry over the why’s and how’s of it. I had to jump into immediate damage control mode. Meanwhile, the guy who leaked my nudes – who happens to be my ex – didn’t even bother owning up to what he did. I may have gotten one flimsy apology. That’s it.”
Hiba remembers feeling gutted at how it seemed like her ex-boyfriend was excluded from the situation altogether.
It came down to blaming her for trusting him. People slut shamed her. Her friends stopped talking to her because they didn’t want to be associated with “a girl like her.” However, her ex-boyfriend received no share of the blame. His friends were still his friends. He had the ability to joke about the matter every now and then.
“I trusted the wrong guy, I’ll admit to that,” says Hiba. “But I don’t get how I was to blame entirely.”
“When I was with him, I genuinely wanted to share everything because I was made to believe it was long term. There was blind trust from my end. Of course, when everything unfolded, I didn’t expect people to not blame me. The minute I found out, I had a pretty good idea about what was in store for me. I was held accountable by people I knew and didn’t know. But where was his accountability?”
Hiba had to deal with people calling her a slut for pretty much the rest of her academic life. She learned the hard way that labels are hard to get rid of.
“The entire ordeal leaves you wrecked. I’m not going to lie. I can’t trust people. I still have trouble making friends. My family doesn’t trust me. They just look at me differently now, you know? How do you move on from something like this?”
Hiba has had to pay the price for her ex’s decision to release her pictures for a while now.
“I have to keep listening to my family’s taunts. They firmly believe no one will marry someone like me. It’s just strange how my mistake of trusting the wrong guy blew up in my face, but the guy who actually leaked my nudes faces no backlash whatsoever.”
“Main slut, woh stud.”
“What about the fact that this was a major breach of trust and privacy? Who am I supposed to turn to? Whenever I raise this point, I’m told to simmer down because it’s my fault. But it’s his fault too. Yeh kya double standards hain? What is this hypocrisy?”
There’s quite obviously a lot that’s wrong with how things went down in Hiba’s case. She trusted the wrong guy, but really – does the blame not fall on the guy too?
For being someone she couldn’t trust? Moreover, how is it okay for someone to not be held accountable for leaking someone else’s private pictures? And have no remorse later? Is that really justified?
Hiba’s story is unfortunate, but also an eye opener. It’s not only a window into what can happen if you place your trust in the wrong person, it also reveals how our society tends to blame victims in such circumstances. One can only hope that such stories become less common over the course of time.
What do you think about Hiba’s ordeal? Let us know in the comments below.
Cover image via: pakistantribe.com