Finding THE ONE is an important consideration for literally every one. Whether it’s your ami who wants a shareef si bahu or your phupho who wants to trap you for her daughter.
What they don’t know is how you’re already a seasoned player in the game of relationships. You most certainly have tried your tharak skills on at least 6 girls in your college and maybe even been in actual relationship for two weeks during last summer. Whatever your situation, these are some of the girls you’ll probably meet before you settle for the rishta your parents tell you about:
1. The “bhooki” ex
Whenever it was lunch break in her office, she would call you to take her out to the newest restaurant in town,then in the evening she would insist that you take her for a fancy hi-tea and when the night took over she would call you a 100 times till you picked up and would say “McDonald ka burger ghar pakra jao”
Sometimes, she would even bring four of her friends for a lunch and those super awesome birthday parties? Yup, you were the one to foot those bills too.
2. The gold digger
So, you just got a good job and your dad bought you a nice car. There is a minor change in your life now, girls are actually trying to talk to you. Then, you meet this one beauty and within one month, she makes you buy her expensive gifts and she always manages to break the new cellphone you just bought her. Most of your conversations end with “kab leyke do gae wo wala suit?”
3. The beauty with brains
After getting into a university, 80% of guys are looking for the “ideal girlfriend”. You might have been lucky, and impressed that stunningly beautiful girl with a GPA of 4. She often used to call you to ask, “tyaari hai paper ki?” Only you knew, she’s way above your league, physically and mentally.
4. The phupho ki beti
Your phupho lives in another city and they visit your home once in a blue moon, this makes it hard for you to mingle with her family which leaves you with an uneasy feeling around their gorgeous daughter. She does everything to attend that boring wedding just to meet you, or she starts making lame excuses to stay at your place. All she wants know is, “shaadi kab karein gae?”
Your mom’s answer to this question? “Uski beti se toh kabhi nai krwaungi.” Between your mom and phupho, your love story gets a red signal.
5. Mohalley ki larki
You can never forget that cute girl you grew up playing with. She used to live close to your house and your families knew each other. You two used to have meet-ups at the galli ka nukar but then that fat uncle found out. It turned out to be a disaster. Your dad was this close from almost slapping the shit out of you but managed to only utter, “baap ki izat ka hi khyaal kar letay“. And you were left #single, again.
6. The best friend
She was another close family friend and you two just happened to click. You used to share every single thing with her, she was sweet and very caring. You could talk to her for hours and hours. She was always there when you needed someone to stand by you. That the spark you felt with her? It all ended when you heard “tu to jigar hai apna” coming out of her mouth.
7. The marriage material
After a dozen break-ups, when you reached your late 20s, you probably met this dream girl. She is gorgeous, well-educated, soft spoken and is a great cook to boot, what else could you have asked for? She gives you the “wedding feels” but she already has ten proposals on her way and you still have not settled on anyone yet.
8. The teenager
Something is definitely wrong with those people who love their teen years a little too much. Especially if you’re an older guy and you start dating a teenager. She will be madly, deeply in love with you. She does everything to get a glimpse of you. For her, you mean the entire world. You do like her a lot, but with time she seems very immature to you and annoying as well. Also, pedo much?
9. The mard-numa ex
You think she’s “mard-numa” because she was tough, rude and very straightforward toward you. She didn’t care if her hair was messed up or if that lipstick was too dark. But she did care if you tried to control her. She could not stand taking orders from you.
Also, she was ready to get out her boxing gloves every chance she got. “Tum mujhe qaid karna chahtay ho” was her favorite line.
10. The player
She had an “x” factor in her. The whole college knew her. She had boys drooling over her and she knew this quite well. She did not care about how many times you told her that you loved her as long as she is having fun with you, she’s going to be with you but when she’s not, bye bye janeman. She’ll avoid those cheesy late nigh phone calls at all cost, and not because she thinks they’re cheesy. Her excuse was, “mein so gai thi raat ko“.
11. The shareef zadi
God forbid, if you get involved with a too shareef girl. And if she’s your first girlfriend then be ready for the endless struggle. She does not know what to say after a long pause on a phone call. She never wants you to say any “romantic” stuff. She reminds you about the haraam relation every other day but still keeps going out with you. She confused you.
12. Rondu ex
Yes, she cries about everything and yes you wish to kill yourself when you’re around her and she wouldn’t stop crying but she was the one who always, always, always without fail made you feel like a very cared for person.
13. Auntie jee
Now this one may look like or be an auntie but we all know aunties come with a whole bucketload of experience so you know, she was the one who taught you things you didn’t even know. She will always have a special place in your heart.
14. The friends with benefits
Yeah you called her your “friend” but because she came with benefits this was obviously no ordinary friendship. This was no friendship at all, to be very honest. However, since none of you really wanted to commit to a relationship, this was an arrangement of convenience for both of you. Someone will always start falling in love in such situations and while you didn’t think it was you, you still miss her sometimes.
15. The sacha pyaar karne wali
Okay, you still remember her name because it haunts your dreams to this day. Just mentioning her name gives your butterflies. She was the one who taught you what loving someone really means(yeah, we know it’s cheesy, but it’s true). She changed you in every way possible. Even if it did not work out between you two, you still wish for her happiness. After all this time you now realize what she meant when she said, “merey jaisi nai mileygi kabhi“.
And then your ammi abba brought to you the rishta that they ‘really liked’. May you have a long and happy married life, pappu.
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