As soon as winter rolls around, people start getting married. It’s like Pakistanis everywhere have agreed that every wedding must take place in winter, no matter what. Thanks to Facebook, you get to know about the #blessed couples due to the unending stream of pictures that pop up on your news feed.
If you’re someone who knows people who are getting married(especially on Facebook) you’ve probably thought about the following:
1. Great. So it begins
The first engagement/baat pakki picture that you see on Facebook is usually a warm-up for the unending influx of pictures that are about to show up next. This is usually what sets the pace for the entire shaadi season.
2. Should I congratulate them or nah?
Sure, that girl was with you in 7th grade and you used to steal her lunch when she wasn’t looking, but does that entitle you to the right of congratulating her? Will it be too awkward? Should you just unfollow her and save yourself the trouble? Maybe your comment will be lost among the other 125 comments?
3. Will I even be invited?
It’s great when you have the power to turn down an invitation, but it sucks to not be invited to an event in the first place when everyone you know is going. You can’t help but wonder if your level of friendship or casual salaam dua was strong enough or not.
4. Should I go or pretend to call in sick?
When you do get invited though, you’re faced with a pressing dilemma: to go or not to go. You start weighing out the list of pros and cons, which usually looks like this:
Pro: Childhood friend’s marriage and happiness.
Con: Getting out of bed.
It’s decisions like these that challenge your wit and keep you up at night.
When you decide to go, the real struggle starts. If you’re a guy, chances are that you’ll whip out last year’s shaadi ke kaprey and hope they fit. Or if you’re picky, you’ll get stuff tailored.
If you’re a girl, however, this part is a nightmare because you either have to go shopping (a HUGE hassle) or deal with last-minute alterations and beg your family darzi to squeeze you into his busy schedule. You can’t help but wonder if you recently ran out of clothes or have always lived like a hobo.
6. Time to face the aunties
You know that heading over to any shaadi makes you an easy target for aunties. They’re always scouring the crowd, either for potential rishtas or to make things awkward for people who they think are of a marriageable age. You’re a sitting duck, dreading the familiar sound of ‘beta agli aap ki baari hai.’
7. Will the khaana be worth it?
A major part of any shaadi is the food. Everyone goes for the food. Like, everyone. Including the bride and groom. You can’t help but wonder if getting out of bed was worth it or not as you hold your plate tight, waiting to pile stuff on.
More important than khaana being worth the effort, thoughm is the question “khaana khulay ga kab?”
8. Must remember to suck in cheek fat for the pictures
You either dread or look forward to the pictures, depending on how stuffed you feel that night. But everyone gets tired after the 254th selfie. Easy ho jao.
9. Do I have to attend the post-shaadi meet-up?
Every time you meet your happily-wedded, non-single friends, it’s kind of like someone shoving a neon sign in your face, telling you to buy a cat and draft a retirement plan since you’ll die alone and sad. If you’re single, that is.
10. Will the interrogation be worth it?
Once people get hitched, they expect everyone around them to magically transform into shaadi-serious individuals who have everything figured out, which leads to conversations like this:
That’s when you start regretting agreeing to meet them in the first place.
11. Meri zindagi kahan ja rahi hai?
You’re human and all the questions get to you at one point or the other, making you fall into a temporary pit of depression, self doubt and uncertainty.
12. It’s okay. At least it’s all over
Once you’re done with all the shaadi drama, you look forward to decompressing and working off the copious amount of khaana that you shamelessly piled on.
13. Oh boy! Time for round 2
Once all that is over and you think you’re done for the season, you get invited to yet another shaadi by yet another #blessed couple. And so it repeats (pretty much till winter ends.)