The Executive Committee of the National Economic Council (ECNEC) has recently green lit the Lahore Metro Orange Line project. Thanks to China’s generous donations, this project will make Lahore part of a ‘privileged’ few cities across the world, with rapid rail transit systems. Here’s another something for us to brag about against Karachiites, eh?
In all seriousness, though, having already witnessed the sad mess that the metro buses have become with all the torh porh every other day owing to one protest or the other, the government may need to hold workshops to teach people acceptable public behavior in the trains because this train system is going to change the lives of millions and needs to be given its due share of respect. Here’s a look at how Lahoris may experience life in a metro.
1. Say hello to being packed like sardines.
Take a ride on the Tokyo metro during the rush hour and you’ll be met with sweaty armpits in your face, or a stinky butt rubbing on your hands. There are people hired just to ensure everyone is packed nice and tight. Indeed, such a sight is common on our public buses, who’s to say things will change on a metro train?
2. Adventurous souls and their adventurous hands.
When you’re standing so close to people, there tend to be those rather rowdy ones whose hands stray on to other people’s private space. If it can happen in New York, it can happen in Lahore.
3. The three dreaded P’s: Puking, Peeing, Paan Staining.
We’ve seen it in other public places and a train that has sealed windows and a fast speed is sure to see the Three P’s slathered all across its floor. Just be careful not to step on them!
It’s real. And it’s even more gross with some men going commando in their lose white cotton shalwars. Keep it together to respect everyone’s space, and more importantly, save other people’s eyes and your dignity.
5. Train performances will be on a whole ‘nother level.
Boy this one is my favorite! People breaking into impromptu dance performances or acapella singing is a widely known and much cherished feature of subways and trains the world over. But here, since all things pleasurable are soon deemed sinful, you’ll all be forced to suffer through long, dreary sermons or politico-religious rants. Time to invest in some good quality ear buds!
Our regular trains are so late, just imagining having to go through those same delays every single day of your life is sure to make even a blue collar guy save up to get a bike to ride to work instead of waiting for a train on Monday only to have it arrive on Thursday. The next week. At night.
7. And the BIG question.
Chalay gi kaise?
Yes, this is a question that is sure to occur to many a concerned Lahoris (and some mean Karachiites, looking to make Lahoris scramble for lame excuses).
Electricity, you say? Aae gi kab woh?
Diesel? Prices aren’t always going to stay this low.
We might need to resort to our extensive repertoire of ever trusty desi jugaads to figure this one out.