Everyone has a lot of misconceptions about any Pathan in their lives. Pathans and Pashtun culture has been misrepresented in the mainstream media a lot. Well, here are some of the most important things a Pathan wants you to know:
1. We never get tired of “mehmannawazi”
Living in a Pathan household, we are all well-aware that if your guests are coming over for a hi-tea it definitely means: They are going to stay for dinner. It is an insult if your guests leave your house without having a proper meal. While everyone else says “thanda garam leingae?” for us, it goes “khana kha k hi jana hoga“.
2. We are fed up of endlessly having to translate ourselves
So you are all caught up in doing an important task and out of nowhere you receive a text from a friend who is all of a sudden, interested in Pashto because they’re probably dating a Pathan and wants you to translate one word, a complete sentence or God forbids, a whole paragraph into Pashto.
I am not Google translator. You can impress that beloved Pathan of yours later.
3. We don’t want to teach Pashto to everyone
But we sure don’t mind conversing just in Pashto wherever and whenever we meet a fellow Pathan.
And no, we aren’t giving you “gaali” in Pashto. Not all the time, anyway 😛
4. We’re getting tired of those old jokes, now
Okay, you are funny, we get it but please can you just stop making those stupid jokes about Pathans already! Every time a person comes up to say “There was a pathan..” a Pathan is probably inclined to finish the sentence for them: “And he punched you in the face” and do the punching as well.
5. Not all of us know how to ‘attan‘ the house down
“Hey can you do that attan move?” Yeah sure, attan is the traditional Pashtun cultural dance but not all of us are born doing it, as we come out. Next time, you’re practicing your dance performances for that mehndi, don’t just ask for “attan moves” from your Pathan friend. They probably can’t!
6. Our names are NOT funny, okay!
Pathans have some of the most beautiful names, they sound so “royal” to us. Sure, for every “Palvasha” or “Zaryaab” there is a “Samandar” or “Sailaab Khan”, but you get the point.
7. We do indeed love our chappal
Or “kheri” as we like to call it.
8. Ever heard of Kabuli pulao and chapli kabab? Yup, Pashtun cuisine is to die for.
People think that Pathans are not good at cooking because their food lack “spices”. Well, we like to keep to taste our food and not an overdose of mirchain. Drooling over those delicious salt-cooked lamb’s tikkay, just thinking about them. And yes, naan is an absolute need with every type of salan out there.
9. We are short-tempered, deal with it!
This is just something built in every Pathan DNA and we can NOT keep calm, no matter how many times you will tell us to lower our voice when we get angry or to ignore the fact that the other person just insulted us, we will not take insults on our person. Even friends. That’s why we make the best friends, just fyi.
Also, secretly, we wish to act “normally” in a state of total chaos, but what can you do!
10. We will always prefer our “clan” over everything else
We always have a special place for that one friend who is a pathan as well, it just comes naturally (refer to the point about Pathans making the bestest friends). Everywhere in life we like that Pathan colleague with whom we can crack our inside jokes, in pashto of course.
11. We’ve been Green Tea drinkers before it became cool
While green teas are the “in thing” these days, Pathans have been drinking the kahwa for centuries. It is essential to get a tiny cup of green tea down our throats after every meal, sometimes with a gurr ki dalli if we we’ve had too much of the delicious meaty feast.
12. We have strong, diverse, intelligent people among the Pathan population
The first female graduate from the Kandahar Police Academy, the highest ranked Afghan policewoman was a Pathan. There are poets, literary figures, politicians, scientists, judges and amazing diverse people like Meena Keshwar, Abdul Qadeer Khan, Nazo Tokhi, Umer Gul and so many more who are all Pathan.
13. Hello, it’s 2015 for us too, we’re not cavemen
Why does everyone assume that belonging to a Pathan family means, wearing burqa, not being able to chase your dreams or worse: having to deal with guns all the time. Let me enlighten your mind my dear friend, we do NOT live in the stone age anymore. In fact, there are many “liberal” Pathans out there, much more so than your average Punjabi or Sindhi or Baloch or whatever else you are. Stop with these prejudices against us, already.
All these quirks only make people special and more interesting. Love everyone for who they are and you’ll be happy yourself.
Cover image via: funvilla.pk