Don’t hate Malala, hate these real things
Malala Yousafzai evokes a lot of emotion here in Pakistan. Some are good, and some are pretty nasty. The poor girl made a twitter account aur log kaafi pagal hogaye thay. ‘Malala Hate’ was everywhere! And now she’s being hated on for her smashing Vogue magazine cover.
So Pakistan, rather than hating on a young girl who you’ll probably never meet in your life, divert your hate and anger towards these things/situations:
1. Chicken Steak
Steak sirf beef ka hota hai. If you don’t eat beef, then sorry you don’t have the right to call a chicken fillet, a steak. Please.
2. Flooded roads after just a little baarish deserve more hate than Malala
Baraan E Rehmat, yeah right. More like Baraam E Zahmet. Rain is awesome, there’s no greater joy in a Pakistani’s life, but the moment you need to get out of the house- uff tauba.
Let’s be real. This has been going on for a bit too long now, hasn’t it.
4. Those empty promises for development that we’ve been hearing from every Government deserve more hate than Malala
Why raise the hopes of the nation, only to crush them so cruelly. This is really where you should be focusing on instead at.
5. Those constant messages by your service provider
‘Yay kisi ne mujhe yaad kiya’
‘Oh’ *dies alone*
6. Traffic jams in general need more hate than poor ol’ Malala
Getting anywhere can be such a hassle sometimes.
7. You know who you should hate more than Malala? The super nosy neighbor wali aunty
This ain’t your home, this ain’t your family so please go away. But no, she will stick around, observe everything you do as a family, and gossip about it.
8. The fact that you can’t eat out because pata nahin gosht bakray ka hai ya guddha ka
(Uniquely Lahori problem, but still COME ON)
9. Groups of really creepy men that you encounter every time you go out if you’re a girl deserve way more hate than Malala
10. People who don’t like chocolate
Such people cannot be trusted. Ever.
11. Long lines at the supermarket are something everyone needs to direct more hate toward than Malala fkn Youzafzai
12. The darzi not giving you your clothes on time should be the receiver of more hate from you than Malala
13. The nayee not shaving your beard properly
Phir tou sirf clean shave ka option rehta hai
14. When restaurants offer you Coke instead of Pepsi
Why you do this. I want Pepsi- simple si demand hai.
15. When the ATM near you doesn’t work
16. The fact that Aamir Liaquat still has a TV show
Yup, that deserves more hate than Malala for sure.
17. PTCL definitely deserves more hate than Malala
So, do you still hate her as much?
Cover Photo: vogue.co.uk