Marriage changes things. We’ve all heard that a million times. But really, aakhir kitna change aata hai? Well, based off my observations, even though I’m single AF, I’ve managed to outline a few points. Without further ado, here’s what changes before and after your shaadi if you’re a dude:
Before, there’s no privacy for a single man. Anyone just barges into your room without knocking or asking jaise haq hai unka.
After shaadi people always knock and woh bhi bahut hee pyar seh. Your parents will knock, your siblings will knock. Hell even your pet cat or dog will knock and if you don’t respond to the knock, nobody barges in. They just say ‘busy hoga‘ and leave. (They’re right. *wink wink*)
Bhai Pakistan hai, bijli mehngi hai. You and your siblings sleep in that one AC wala room, be it your parents or an extra guest room. Khair jahaan bhi ho you all sleep together to save the bill.
After shaadi you sleep in your room with your wifey. Shaadi keh baad scene hee different hota hai. You sleep in your own room wake up at your own time there’s no one to say ‘Oye nikamay uth ja saari raat chamgadaaar ki tarha jagta rehta hai.’
The FAQs change
Before, if you’re in your 20’s and especially agar aap B.A pass hai toh, people keep asking you about ‘apki shaadi ki situation’. Seriously, all those rishta aunties need to chill tf out.
After, people keep asking ‘bache kab karo gaye.’ I mean, what is with this pesky interest in someone else’s sex life? Hadh hai.
The obsession with weight.
Before, people keep talking about all the rishta problems you will face if you’re not healthy or if you’ve gained a few pounds.
After, jitna bhi couples complain karlein, sab daawat pe bula bula ke khaana khilayeinge. Whether you like it or not.
Your distribution of quality time
Before you get married, people get annoyed that you’re always spending time on your phone.
Afterwards, yeah…they’re still annoyed. Why? Because apparently, you spend too much time with your wife. Koi kisi haal main khush nahi hai bhai.
Ammi ki narazgi changes
Before, when moms get upset, it takes less effort to fix the mistake you made.
After, it takes more effort because now she starts comparing the effort you make for your wife with the effort you make for her. Bohot nazuk surat e haal ho jate hain.
Dosto ki narazgi changes
Before, when you wouldn’t meet your friends for weeks they wouldn’t say a thing. One anda waley burger and they’re all set.
After shaadi, anday wala burger won’t cut it anymore, Because no matter what you do, your friends will say “Shaadi keh baad toh nazaar hee nae ata bhai mera.”
Before, you would say things like I’m busy with the office or that I have to help my parents out to avoid anything. The bad thing about these excuses is that people question them and often see right through them.
After shaadi, you say ‘Susral jana ha aaj yaar’ or something like ‘Beghum naraz hojati ha agar late ghar aou‘ because people seem to believe these excuses with an open mind for some reason.
Aunties change…and it kinda sucks
Before shaadi, random aunties treat you like royalty, especially if you have a good job or are very handsome. Because, you know, single daughters.
After shaadi, most of those aunties seem to disappear and they’re just not as friendly as they used to be. Sad.
So, there you have it. Of course, there are more serious changes too. Like your routine, your responsibilities and a million other things. But I thought I’d keep it light, you know. Woh sab toh aap waisay experience karleinge.
If I’ve missed anything, let me know in the comments below.
Cover image via @ashna_khan/Instagram