“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.
The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.
It is so ordered.”
And so a historic ruling from the US Supreme Court was passed legalizing same sex marriage all over the United States. People in the US were excited and filled with emotions; even the White House colored itself in pride, literally!
Another not so historic and all too familiar ruling has been passed by Pakistan’s supreme authority, a local madrassa’s Imam. The Imam passed a Fatwa Sunday morning against the colored Facebook D.P’s.
The Imam, after gulping his free sehri, addressed his devotees and told them how the recent coloured Facebook pride DP’s are harmful for the Ummah, as they are disgracing the meaning of love. The Imam said that any exaggerated form of love is haram, even if it is between the opposite sex. The Imam argues that true love is making your daughter hide in the basement of your house behind a black veil and to make her loose her innocence to a total stranger. Or love between a pupil and a teacher in the madrassa after hours.
The imam went on to say that the secular liberals might consider the latter two as rape but that is the Jews talking. He then also had an informative discussion on marriage with his devotees, telling them about how marriage is not suppose to be equal as it’s about quenching a man’s thirst and making dozens of babies. In addition, he praised Iran on their most recent bill that was passed by lawmakers.
“They say pedophilia, I say daddy’s home!” – Imam
The Imam had more to say. He said that if the Ummah wants to progress, it should to praise and adopt this sort of Halal marriage acts, not the kind where two people in love are allowed to get married. The room was filled with echos of MashAllahs and SubahanAllahs.
He also asked his devotees to stay away from color this holy month since too much color is prohibited in Islam. Especially now because color is becoming a symbol for the Gays and Lesbians.
The Imam is a renowned domestic Fatwa Champion of his area; one of his devotee explains that “he brings the Fat in the Fatwa”. This is his 7th fatwa of the year. He has also gone on his Twitter page and posted the Fatwa there with hashtags #LuckySeven and#HateWins. Unfortunately for him, they have not yet started trending.
Some sources claim that the Fatwa came about as a result of a hacking incident. Someone accessed the Imam’s Facebook profile and gave his D.P. a touch of pride.
Protests were mild initially but as soon as the temperature increased, so did the intensity of the protest. Soon enough, everyone became excessively infuriated with the idea of the colored Facebook DPs.
Hamza Ali Abbassi (once an actor, now a social network Imam) also updated his Facebook status as he felt the need to share his disgust with people changing their Facebook DPs and making them colorful. He has appealed to all his fans to say no to color. And in protest he dressed in all black.
The Imam has appealed to PTA (Pakistan Telecommunication Authority) to ban Facebook, for being too colorful and he has also appealed to the Ummah to unite against this amplified form of love. While talking to our plainly clothed correspondent, he said that as a society we need to do away from these misleading quotes like “Live and Let Live” in order to progress. “I hate, do you?” – The Imam finished giving our correspondent a headache with these final words.