We all love being the apple of someone’s eye, having that one person who we can have the ultimate level of comfort with. But have you ever been in a relationship where your other half is always on your mind but not for the right reasons? You don’t want to admit it, but in the hearts of your heart, their presence makes you uncomfortable and nervous?
Well, you may be with someone who’s emotionally manipulative, and here’s how you can learn the warning signs:
1.“Apni harkatain sahi kero, aisa nai ho ga.”
No matter what happens, you’re constantly made to feel as if it’s your fault, even when they hurt your feelings! You’re always wrong – your feelings are wrong, you say the wrong things to them and you’re the only one who perceives things incorrectly. And in the end, they tell you to get your act together and straighten up. Matlab wtf type cheez nahi hai yeh?
2.“Tum normal nai ho”
Ever had someone make you feel like whatever you’re feeling is not normal and that you’re blowing things out of proportion? This is what it feels like to be in a relationship with a manipulative person. They’ll twist things in such a clever way that you end up thinking that, “shayad mai he pagal hoon aur baki log bilkul aisay nahi hotay.”
Err no.
3.“Mujhe kya zaroorat hai itni se baat pe jhoot bolnay ki?”
Manipulative people will start off by telling small, white, harmless lies – they’re just testing your trust in them. These lies will eventually become bigger and bigger. By the time you find out, you’re already too invested into the relationship and basically, apki demagh ki dahi ban chuki hoti hai because you don’t know what to believe anymore.
4.“Tum kitnay amazing ho, mai kitna/kitni lucky hoon ke mujhe tum millay”
They’ll sweep you off of your feet with their charm and flattery. They’ll give you gifts, offer to do your chores and work for you, take you out frequently and compliment you all the freaking time. You feel like the center of their universe and eventually become emotionally dependent on them. Bhai, koi kissi ko itna acha nai lagta waisay…
5.“Tch, choro mujhe doh, tumse koi kaam sai se nahi hota.”
They’ll take over your life and make you believe that you’re not good at anything. And the things you’re good at? They’re not a big deal, woh toh koi bhe ker sakta hai! This slowly and gradually impacts your self-confidence and you look for their approval and validation in everything that you do – even if it’s buying a pair of shoes for yourself!
6.“Agar tumne mere baat na mani toh mai naraz ho jaon gi/ga”
Their approval and happiness mean the world to you. Ironically it means the world to their own self as well. They try to emotionally blackmail you into doing things you’re very uncomfortable in doing such as unnecessary spending on them, getting physical with them or just doing things their way because that’s how controlling they are! That is their idea of a happy relationship, but apki zindago toh azaab bani hoti hai, without you even realizing it.
7.“Maine tumse koi baat nahi kerni iss baray mai”
They know how to press your buttons – by giving you the silent treatment until you succumb to their demands. They will ignore you when you’re alone, they will ignore you when you’re in a crowd – and that’s the worst type. They’ll make you feel lonely, unloved and unwanted, and because you’re so emotionally dependent on them, you’ll eventually cave in.
RIP your self-respect and ego – laiken woh toh khush hai na?
8.“Jaldi decide kero”
They’ll make you take big decisions without giving you time to think or ponder over them. You’re under immense pressure to do the right thing for yourself, for them and for the relationship, but end up catering to their demands. You make hasty decisions and don’t even realize the consequences because hello? Kisi ne apko soochnay ka time he nai diya!
9.“Maine kya kiya hai?”
After they bring havoc into your life and basically make you want to bang your head into a wall, they’ll pretend as if nothing happened and they’re clueless about your feelings. Life will be normal for them while you’re sitting in a corner giving ma/bhen ki gaaliyan to your situation. You can’t even muster up the energy to say anything to them because kon behas keray yaar – kasoor end mai apka he hona hai!
10.“Tumhe paisay kharch nai kernay atay – mujhe de do”
They’ll control you by controlling your finances. The reasons they’ll give you range from “tum paisay handle kernay ke liye mature nahi ho” to “Yeh mere ya tumharay paisay nahi hain, humaray hain”. In reality, you have no clarity of where your money is going. Heck, you don’t even have the right to spend your own money the way you want to!
11.“Tumharay andar woh baat nai hai”
Whatever you do for them, you’ll never be good enough. There will always be someone better who they compare you with. This is to shatter and shake your self-confidence. Koi poochay, apnay apko dekha hai kabhi?
12.“Tumne mere feelings hurt ki hain”
The moment you start to tell them their flaws, they’ll start pinning things on you and get hurt. Sheesha dekhnay ki himmat nai hai inmay!
13. “Tumhari itni himmat?!”
Whenever things get a little sensitive or when they want to get something done and you resist, they raise their voice or even start yelling. This is to throw you off guard and scare you so you immediately try to diffuse their anger and agree to everything that they’re demanding. Some people will resort to self-harm as well, just to get your attention.
These are just a few signs. There may be many more. How many of these signs do you see in your relationship? Do you know of more? Let us know in the comments below!
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Cover image via Paragon Productions