Toxic relationships can take a horrible toll on your emotional health and well-being. They’ll suck the life and soul out of you, and you might not even realize it. The person you’re in a toxic relationship with will know your weaknesses and will always reel you in the moment they feel you slipping. Most times, you won’t even know you’re in such a self deprecating dynamic. Most times, it’ll hit you too late, when you’re already in too deep.
Here are 13 signs that show you’re in a toxic relationship.
1. You get used to accepting their mistakes.
They’ll mess up continually only to apologize afterwards and repeat after a few days. Saying sorry will become a familiarity for them, and you accepting their apologies will become a familiarity for you.
2. You aren’t completely yourself around them, you put up a “face”.
The vibrant you is replaced with a timid, quieter version that does not justify who you truly are in the slightest. It’s become a habit to mold into someone entirely different around them.
3. And when you do try and be yourself, you feel it’s wrong.
The few moments during elation, you’ll suffer a momentary lapse and be yourself, only to find it feels out of place.
4. It becomes emotionally and internally draining when you’re with them.
Trying to fix them and keep them content turns into an exhausting process for you, like an incessant drum in your head that won’t stop pounding. You love them, but that love is now attached to tremendous amounts of pain.
5. You can’t move on because they won’t let you.
They’ve deciphered your mind, and they know how to take advantage of all the vulnerabilities they’ve gathered in their laps.
6. You’re constantly ignoring your friends and family because of this person.
Your friends and family members will continually ask you why on earth you’re still in such a self-destructive relationship. They won’t understand how hard it is to walk away from someone you used to love so ardently, where that love has become a complex mess that you can’t seem to untangle yourself out of.
7. You’ll barely be honest.
You’ll put up a facade where you’ll continually lie to them and never express how you really feel.
8. You’ll continually compromise elements of your life, especially your morals.
Not only will you let go of morals, you’ll start to find it hard to differentiate right from wrong, black from white. Everything around you will turn into grey matter – an ambiguity that strips you of all the values you held.
9. You are investing much more in the relationship than your partner.
You love them more than they will ever love you. You give your all to them, and they abuse it. You think it’s love, but hurting someone isn’t love.
10. And you’ll never have the upper-hand.
You’ll find yourself on the lower deck. Plans, meet-ups aren’t in your control. They could disappear for days and then pop up in your life, claiming it as your own.
11. You’re no longer happy, but you force yourself to think that things will change.
You have a history with them and you cannot seem to let go of past memories together when everything seemed so wonderful. It’s those past moments that are keeping you going.
12. And so you continue to prioritize them over your own life, unduly.
It’s because you’ve become accustomed to putting them first. That’s how it was and that’s how you want it to be. They’ve changed but you’re not understanding that.
13. You are extremely vulnerable with them.
They’ll take advantage of the fact that they know you so well; they know what gets to you, what irks you and what destroys you.
Breakups can be hard, and not many people like or enjoy change but there are some times when a person has to make that difficult decision because it becomes a necessity. Your sanity and mental health is more important than any love in your life.