Biryani is our national love. Its loved to the point of it being sacred, and if anyone were to mess with biryani, that would be absolutely blasphemous.

Tastemade, a US based food video network, tried to make biryani for the average gora to learn, and tauba, pata nahin ye humnay kya dekh liya hai. 

We’re all for spreading our culture and food, but heck not like this. Please no!

Oh yes, you read that right. Biryani made in just one pot. Clearly our Ammas are so bad at cooking, they didn’t realize they that something that needs 3 pots, lots of years of practice and patience can be condensed into one simple pot. Oh silly us.

You would think the ‘one pot’ thing was it? Oh, you’re in for a ride. 

Let the record show, this is not how you brown your pyaaz. Kids, never do this.

Haan haan, just throw the chaawal in there. No biggie

Did you hear that? That was the sound of desi mothers all over the world, fainting

KISHMISH kon daalta hai biryani mein beghairaton! 

This looks less like biryani, more like the rice you get with fried chicken

Qayamat ke din se duro, that’s all I can say to this.

Desis were far from happy 

They just couldn’t fathom what had been done to their precious biryani

Elaichi was bad as it is, they just couldn’t deal with raisins too

This person gave them a piece of their mind 

And some people left their Caps Lock on for too long 

While some people just couldn’t keep up with how terrible this recipe was

You all must be super traumatized reading that. So, its best to just get up and eat of plate of good desi biryani. At least that’s what I’m about to do.

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Cover image via: whitbitskitchen.com