Beauty parlours are a haven of gossip and mischief. But just how ridiculous can it get? Well, we asked girls to recount some of their experiences and the responses were interesting to say the least.
“The conversation progressed to the point that I found out her husband has six wives”
You know when you’re waiting for your turn and people try to make small talk? So, the woman next to me starts to chat, we’re cool. The conversation is light…until she starts talking about her husband. From there, the conversation progressed to the point that I found out her husband has six wives, he was last in Islamabad a month ago and that she was very lonely. The ending note was: “Paisay keh liye kabhi shaadi na kerna, kabhi khush nai rahogi.”
“Yaar mein tou bilkul ghar vali haalat mein aari hoon”
“This one time I was getting a blowdry and this super dressed up aunty came in with her 4-year old daughter. Both of them were getting their hair done when the aunty gets a call, “Yaar mein tou bilkul ghar vali haalat mein aari hoon”
“The facial extended to a shoulder massage and I was super confused…”
“So my friend suggested I try out a new spa in Lahore. She wouldn’t stop raving about the facial she got there so I was like, what the hell. While I was there, I found out that the person she suggested was actually a guy and he was very touchy-feely . The facial extended to a shoulder massage and I was super confused so later, I called my friend up and asked for an explanation. Turns out, the guy was super touchy-feely with her as well and she was conducting a social experiment to see whether the guy had a thing for only her or was it his signature move with everyone. Ummm…thanks for using me as a lab-rat?”
“Imagine she’s waxing your leg and gossiping over the phone…”
“The parlour-wali aunty at my hostel is always on her hands-free. Imagine, she’s waxing your leg and gossiping over the phone. And then, she’s threading your eyebrows and she’s still on the phone. Then her face is an inch away from yours and she’s giggling. Then she’s quiet. Then she’s giggling. Literally, no sense of personal space.”
“No, auntyjee, that’s not the end game”
“I was getting my highlights done from this new salon that had just opened their branch in Islamabad. Their wifi wasn’t working and I was bored so I randomly started flipping through photos in my phone gallery. Suddenly, a selfie with a guy-friend popped up and the parlor wali aunty said, “MashaAllah” like, no auntyjee, that’s not the end game.”
“The parlour-wali aunty didn’t let me off easy”
“I gave up on the old parlour I used to go to for another that had opened up close to home. One day, I was in the vicinity so I decided I might as well go to the older one. Of course, the parlour-wali aunty didn’t let me off easy.
Aunty: Bohot arsay baad aayi ho, kya hua?
Me: Bus aunty, aj kal busy hoon.
Aunty: Koi rishta wishta scene?
Aunty: Mangni shangni?
Aunty: Tou phir busy kyun ho?
“She brutally punched the hairdresser in the face”
“This one time, I witnessed an intense family fued at the hair salon. I couldn’t help but feel amused.
Basically, the family was moving to Australia and as desi moms go, the mother wanted to maximize on salon duties because wahan tou bohot mehengayi hogi. She turned the poor ten-year old into a boy with a fauji cut. Suffice to say, the child wasn’t happy.
She kicked furniture.
She brutally punched the hairdresser in the face.
She screamed on top of her lungs and eventually, made a big show of attempting to flush the mother’s cellphone down the toilet.
Best entertainment ever.”
“The rishta aunty offered her nephew as tribute”
“A bride and two sisters were getting dressed up for the mehendi. While the senior make-up artist took the bride away, the two sisters were waiting their turn. An aunty turned up out of nowhere and started asking them personal questions. They were sweet and naive enough to answer, “hum America se aaye huey hein, ji pehli behen ki shaadi hay, ji ji perhayi ker rahay hein, ji kafi maza aaraha hay Pakistan mein”
Obviously the rishta aunty offered her nephew as tribute.
“Bhateeja hay. Germany se engineering ker ke aaya hay. Uske liye aj kal aik achi si larki dhoond rahay hein.”
The girls were visibly flushed and excused themselves immediately. The rishta aunty? She scanned the crowd for another potential bahu-raani.”
Want to add your awkward encounters at a beauty parlour to the list? Tweet us at @mangobaaz