As A Pakistani, Here's Everything I Hate But Also Love About ‘Spoilers’

By Biya Haq | 1 May, 2019

Don’t worry, no spoilers here.

Being so that it is 2019, most of us know what spoilers are.

Source: MangoBaaz Via YouTube

They are the worst. That is what they are.

But all jokes aside, a spoiler by definition is a piece of information that reveals content of a specific movie, show, film, book etc that you may have not gotten the chance to consume yet. For example, I logged on to Twitter Monday morning and got five fucking million spoilers on the new episode of Game of Thrones that aired the night before. Spoiler.

Now, dating back to ancient times, spoilers weren’t even that bad in fact they were almost a gold standard. If you had information about the new Jurassic Park movie (as I said, ancient) you were instantly the coolest kid in the room, it’s like you possessed some sort of edge. However nowadays, if you have insight into what’s about to happen in the final Avengers movie, you are pretty much avoided like the plague. There is no in between.

What accounts to this drastic change, you may wonder? Well, to me – it’s all Netflix’s fault.

Source: @perezhilton via Tumblr

While most of us spent the early years of Netflix just trying to chill, the spoiler culture erupted out of nowhere. Soon enough friendships were being torn apart, decade long relationships eroded and going online even almost seemed like a feat unattainable by the faint hearted. All because oops! You let something slip about a significant character and whoops! did you not see the new episode last night? Spoiler.

Being exposed to this kind of treachery on it’s own is super exhausting but the fact that we live in Pakistan? LOL forget about it. Thanks to well, the world, we are in a completely different time zone than the West. Why is that slightly annoying? Because literally every show the world collectively watches is made by someone in the FUCKING WEST. Yes, we have our dramas and yes yes Pakistani cinema is thriving like never before. But no one named @goTluvr69 is trying to spoil next weeks episode of SUNO CHANDA.Let’s refer back to my earlier anecdote.

I woke up Monday morning to about a trillion spoilers on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Source: HBO

The holy trinity spoke, and it spoiled.

To make things easy here, I am just going to refer to Game of Thrones in this article as my primary source of context. Also cause Game of Thrones is the WILDEST PRODUCTION OF OUR GENERATION WOW. But anywho, thanks to air times allocated by HBO, the shows episodes are aired at the exact same time, all over the world with the exception of some select hackers.

Because of this, surprise surprise, we are only able to access the show once literally everyone in the entire world has already seen it. SPOILER. Honestly the nation of Pakistan should be given an award for its patience. Not only as a resilient and steadfast group of a couple million but also a nation that can navigate the Internet without running into spoilers. Now THAT is a diplomatic skill that can mend NATIONS.

And hey look, I know I am coming in hot with a pity party of emotions but here’s the thing. The fault is pretty much our own. We all know this. If you don’t want your shit spoiled then get up early in the morning and watch the new episode. Stay up all night and read that book or buy tickets early for opening weekend to make sure no one tells you WHO DIES IN THE AVENGERS. It’s a pretty fixable problem and the truth of the reality is that we are all really and truly just shit out of luck.

But get this, even though there is so much to hate when it comes to spoilers, there is so much to love, as well.

Source: Disney

Yeah I know that was a weird statement, but hear me out.

Shows and other forms of media nowadays aren’t just a way to spend your extra time, they are a completely new language. A completely new sense of communication the world somehow seamlessly never fails to keep updating and glorifying. Memes, viral videos, movements and collectively sitting in anticipation for a new episode, even though we are all at different parts of the world? It’s pretty beautiful and strategically speaking, insanely systematic and impressive.

As we further dive into our entertainment, the walls of discretion go higher and higher. Avengers: End Game broke records in the box office and was one of the most anticipated movies of the year. Scratch that, probably of the decade considering that Marvel began to spin their movies out in 2008. And even then, the directors of the film, the Russo Brothers asked in a letter for fans all over the world to ‘not spoil the End Game.’ And friends, it pretty much worked. Of course you have your occasional annoying bot profiles who suck the world of everything good, but wow. It worked.

Instances like that just prove how much the ‘spoiler culture’ around the world has grown. As a Pakistani, it makes me truly happy to know that even in this microscopic and social way, we have had each others backs. And I don’t want to get all philosophical and annoyingly connect TV shows to politics, but damn, what a display of diplomacy.

That is what I love about spoilers.

You suddenly feel like you’re part of the rest of the world. Yeah it may suck having a show ruined for you but as a Pakistani, there are so many conversations around the world that we are excluded from. It might sound a little absurd but it still makes me feel part of a bigger picture. A show like Game of Thrones will go down in history for captivating people literally around the world and we were a part of that experience.

So yes, I hate spoilers and yes, I also love spoilers. Not sure if any of you agree with that, but I guess I’ll just have to wait for you guys to share what you think in the comments below. No spoilers. Love you.

Also take a look at how MangoBaaz deals with spoilers, it’s great.

Here’s How You Can Watch The Final Season Of Game Of Thrones In Pakistan

Here Are Some Of The Most WTF Theories About The Final Season Of ‘Game Of Thrones’

Cover photo source: IMDB/MangoBaaz Via YouTube

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