A bad result is held against students and that stifles them
In recent years, we have been unfortunate to see a rise in people ending their own lives. These tragic deaths have been a result of the societal pressure in many different ways, like the death of the girl in BNU and the death of Anam Tanoli. The pressure of society and what people think, is so huge, that young minds are left with no choice other than to end their lives because they are made to feel like they don’t fit within the society’s standards of what’s perfect. Something similar happened with a Pakistani student recently.
Leaving a heartbreaking note behind, explaining how his bad result had brought shame to the family, this Pakistani student gave up on life
We, as a society, have still not found a way to normalize average results and this is evident after this student took his own life.
In the note, the student sought forgiveness from his parents, explaining how he tried to score better but was unable to do so. He explained how there will be no izzat left, after scoring such low marks. He bid a final goodbye to his parents and requested a call to be made to his parents, once the note was found.
As upsetting and tragic as this incident is, no one knows better than us desi people, who are the first to shame anyone with low grades. Suicide is never an easy option, and for someone who opts for it, must have tried their best surviving with the screwed up, one-way mentality of the society.
Pakistanis are devastated at how the societal pressure over a bad result is bigger than life itself and how it NEEDS to come to an end
How many suicides will it take for people to realize that the shit they say, hurts? Our deep-rooted mentality of scoring good grades, getting a high-end job, getting married at the ‘right’ age, is so toxic and suffocating that not everyone is able to comply to it. Besides, in what world, other than ours, is EVERYTHING related to izzat? We are unable to accept that every human being acts as an individual, and not as a society’s generalized puppet, following the same izzatdaar pattern to be successful.
A young boy committed suicide just because his grades weren’t good enough. When will this stop? When will the elders realise that marks are not such a big deal. A few years from now they won’t even matter. Jo kismat me hoga wo har har me milay ga. pic.twitter.com/axSXfTUKrt
— Sana Khan (@Sana_ak98) October 13, 2019
Societal pressure & high expectations took another soul teeming with life. Horrible!! pic.twitter.com/6Dr63FXPgn
— depreciation (@raving_dead) October 13, 2019
An education system is supposed to help you grow, not lower your self-esteem to an extent where your grades solely define you
As someone who has undergone a lot of mental stress and suicidal thoughts after low grades, I can tell how huge the societal pressure is, and how much strength and courage it requires to stand up to those comments. However, just because some people handle the toxicity, it in no way, means that shaming others over grades is normal. We have associated higher grades to everything that is successful, proving that there is no room for anyone who cannot score up to the mark.
This is very sad that parents give a lot of stress to the children,another issue is middle class n poor students have a lot of dream but suicide is one of our major in our society within students, Government should take action against parents those who put the child under presure
— Dr.zara (@zarathinkskool) October 13, 2019
This is so so so so heartbreaking i want to fkn cry omg https://t.co/kLasVIcYEv
— emotionally unavailable salor mars🍒 (@poisonmebitchhh) October 13, 2019
Once again, there was a discussion about mental health and how things that others around a young impressionable mind say can affect their mental health
Male suicide rates are so high. It breaks my heart that men feel they can't open up because of stigma. Mental health of both men and women matter. All the men, please open up! It'll be okay.
— Nureh. (@noorkhokharr) October 13, 2019
It’s always easier to be a keyboard warrior and say all this consoling stuff AFTER the damage has been done – because honestly, who in their right minds haven’t been a part of the rat race? Who here hasn’t felt inferior with low grades? No one. It is because we haven’t trained ourselves to do so, and even after such incidents, we are rigid to change our thinking pattern.
It is so important for people to be able to express what they truly feel but the society never allows one to do so. How do parents react when you are unable to get into Medical School? How do relatives keep calling you on YOUR result day? How do aunties keep boasting about their children’s accomplishments? That is exactly how society shuts our mouths and restrains us from speaking up. Nobody here is concerned to know what is keeping you from doing your best or how do you really feel; all they want for you is to be consistent with grades or watch yourself become a disgrace to your family.
It’s high time for us, as a society, to accept people for who they are and stop letting someone’s bad result define them
The stereotypes that we’ve formed over the time, are actually fatal and we need to stop. The Log Kya Kahein Gay mentality has crushed millions of dreams. This student who took his life is just one of the many students who think about it daily. It is horrifying even to think that as a society, we have forced people to take their lives just because they cannot do good on a piece of paper. We constantly keep sharing posts about mental health awareness and we keep telling people to be themselves, but do we ever mean it?
How suffocating is it to live in a space where you cannot think, act or behave differently – where the norms and values affect your well-being? The teachers, let alone the relatives or parents, differentiate between the brighter student and the ‘average’ one. What does that tell you about our mindset? It is the responsibility of each and everyone of us to make sure no one feels discriminated, that no one is mocked for scoring low, that no one is shamed just because they do not opt for ‘worthy’ professions.
Bad grades do not mean it’s the end of the world so let’s not push ourselves into believing that for our children, too, before we lose more.
Cover image via: @insanetypewriterr via Facebook