Whenever people talk about their experiences from grade school, they always paint a really utopian picture. Often at social meetups especially the ones after work there is this discussion on how things were really chill back in the day when you had nothing to worry about and everything was rainbows & butterflies, kinda like Neverland in Peter Pan. Well the thing about nostalgia is that it’s a trap. You always remember the good shit and tend forget the bad shit. Well, I for one remember all the bad shit that happened in school at the hands of teachers and very much hold a grudge against all of them.
ALL OF THEM I TELL YA
1. Cutting recess time for extra class time
To quote Sahir Lodhi, ‘WHO ARE YOU?’ ‘WHAT GAVE YOU THAT RIGHT?’
So what if I was unable to complete my classwork on time, you just cant take over recess….. Geneva convention anyone?
2. Taking over the P.E. period
If cutting short recess time wasn’t enough, some teachers had the tendency to hijack the P.E. period out of the blue and the P.E. instructor was least bothered to do anything about it.
Hey, physical education is just as important as any other subject, OK?!?! Sports build character and they should be given equal priority.
3. Getting anal about bathroom breaks
” Miiiiiiiissssss can I got the bathroom?’
“NO….KEEP QUIET AND DO YOUR WORK”
and that was the end of it. And then I had to hold my bladder for the next 45 minutes …IF AM LUCKY THAT IS. There was always the chance of the teacher that came in during the next period being equally opposed to the idea of answering the call of nature.
The usual argument these teachers relied upon to justify this cruel action was that the student was just using it as an excuse to bunk class. It’s grade school, everyone has classes what am I gonna do roaming around by myself.
Learning grammar at the expense of my bladder? That’s a fair trade-off, I guess.
4. Changing the seat as punishment for talking
So you and your best bud are busy doing class work and the teacher hear khuss phuss out of nowhere. Now you can’t sit with your friend anymore.
Then when you established a meaningful bond with the other guy you are made to sit with….POOF its time to change seats again.
5. Making you sit with girls as a punishment and ruining your confidence with women, for life
Usually when the teacher changed your seat as punishment, you were made to sit with the opposite gender. As if inter-gender communication wasn’t already awkward enough at that age especially in a country like Pakistan, you have now successfully conditioned the child to perceive the opposite sex in the most negative way.
6. Making you stand-up as punishment
Shouldn’t there be a law against this?
7. While we’re on punishments, murgha banana is extremely insulting to a young child’s confidence, as well
8. Calling your class the worst batch ever or comparing it with a fish market
What a coincidence that all the classes I have ever been in were the worst batch ever. For a while I began to think that being the common denominator maybe I was the reason for that but coincidentally all my friends also shared the honor of being in the worst batch ever.
Also, a ‘fish market’ REALLY. How?!?! Why?!?!?!
9. Having a nervous breakdown during class
Now I am not being insensitive being here, teachers are human beings and they have a breaking point like any other person, I get that. But hear me out for a second. There was always this one teacher that started crying during the classroom usually when students were a little too loud.
Once again there maybe certain deep rooted reason as to why a teacher broke down like that I get it but it also results in the students going on a serious guilt trip. I mean all they did was make noise.
10. Confiscating your things to “teach us a lesson”
My English teacher from grade six still have my Pokemon cards locked away somewhere and I will never forgive her for that. ( yes I grew up in the 90s )
11. Asking your parents to “fix” even the slightest blunders you made
Imagine how things were for me. My mother taught in the same school where I studied at.
12. Hitting or slapping students in class
Just tell me I am not good at it and get over with it. No need to get physical.
13. Encouraging students to tell on each other
This speaks for itself.
Don’t get me wrong I have utmost respect for the profession and consider teachers to be a vital pillar for a civilized community. I am really thankful for the knowledge my teachers from school so selflessly imparted. Its the little annoying stuff they did that still grind my gears.
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