Things every desi biwi says
Dear becharay husbands, we know that the women in your life are not as innocent as they seem. Matlab, ladies, apko bhe pata hai that it takes two to tango, two to get them hands clapping. We know the ladies don’t hold back when it comes to annoying their husbands. Amirite guys?
We’ve compiled a list of all the annoying things wives say to their husbands because this is what life is all about – annoying each other:
1.“Wohhhh …. thoray aur paisay chahiye thay”
What?! Abhi toh diye they! Yup, that is probably the universal complaint that all men have from their wives. Your wife’s wallet gets empty faster than you can close yours. Plus, that new Lawn jora won’t buy itself now would it? Question is, how many do you need woman.
2. “You don’t have time for me”
Babe, if you want your husband to listen to the same gossip again, and again and AGAIN, then yes, he probably does not have time for you anymore. Besides, all the husbands don’t work for their papa’s company, jo paisay khud he multiply hotay rehain gay. They need to put in the hours and that means less time to listen to you bicker.
3. “Btaein mein kaisi lag rahi hu?”
Okay, ladies, this isn’t so bad if you’re ready to handle an honest answer – which you’re not. C’mon, you know it too. If the husband says anything along the lines of highlighting any improvement areas in your “look” for the day, you will lose your shit. You will MURDER him with your hue and cries. So he’d rather just say that yes, you look fine, even though you might have lipstick on your teeth.
4. “Why were you looking at that girl?”
Umm, well, your husband was also looking at that man, and that child and maybe that aunty over there, perhaps that old grandpa too, because if you’re out in a restaurant, or a public place, you accidentally do happen to glace at other human beings too. It’s not as rare as it seems.
5. “Sunein, market se dahi/anday/rotiyan/dhaniya/podina le ayen“
Yaar aik toh yeh anday aur dahi ka kaam kabhi khatam nahi ho ga! Ladies, why don’t you just stock up on doodh, dahi and rotiyan so we can come home in peace? Matlab ke, bus yehi kaam reh gaya hai ab zindagi mai? Chor doh peecha yaar!
6. “Ami Abu ke ghar kab le ker jaein gai?”
Abay yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr, didn’t you go to your parent’s house like yesterday? And obviously, as a husband you can’t say this out loud because you love your life and don’t want to die an unexpected, early death by a deliberate accident – know what we mean? Bach ke rehna bhai, uss ke parents aur ghar is one territory you don’t want to mess with.
7. “Uff, your clothes are not in the laundry basket – again”
Okay, dear wives, please help me understand, what part of “I am not going to put my clothes in the laundry basket, even though it is right next to my dirty pile” don’t you understand? Most husbands are not equipped to differentiate between the laundry basket and that space on the ground right next to it. To them, it is the same. In their minds, they are doing the right thing! Just come to terms with it already will you? Oh, and don’t expect much from their shoes and socks as well – and stop complaining about it already.
8. “All you care about is your mother, meri baat ki toh koi value hee nahi hai“
Uff, how do the husbands tell their wives that when they go to their moms, they say the exact same things about them. Matlab, yaar, the husband should literally be paid to act as a referee all the freaking time. It’s like war-zone central, 24/7. Iss se acha toh office he hai bhai.
9. “Aap ne toh meri zindagi barbaad ker di hai bilkul..“
Umm, What about the poor husband’s life? Do you ladies think that living with you is like lying on a bed of roses? Babe, no. Make that thorns, please.
10. “That’s it, mai ghar ja rahi hu“
As much as the husbands hate it when you get naraaz and go home, sometimes they can’t help but say, “shukar!”.
11. “Did you notice anything different about me today?”
OH SHIT! The most dreaded question of the century. How am I supposed to guess if you changed your brand of mascara? Men are not designed to notice the subtle things, such as a haircut, or a new dress. It’s almost as if they are color blind, they will only notice the major differences, like maybe if you were in an Indian soap and your whole face changed altogether. Otherwise, everything looks the same, so do them a favor and just tell them – just freaking tell them, ladies.
12. “Aaj bahir khana khanay chaltay hain – but you decide”.
“Nahi, not here”
WHAT?! I thought we were talking about the husband’s marzi yaar!!!!! Why does every desi biwi do this to her husband? Agar khud he decide kerna hai, toh poochti kyun ho? Decide already or let them decide.
13. “Ghar kab arahay hain aap?”
These wives I tell you, they will call you every half hour after 6 PM and ask you when you will come home from the office. Yaar matlab, office mai manhoos boss, and ghar mai biwi – they will make you want to cut your body in half and divide it between the two. Oh, and when you do get home, a huge pile of gilay shikway are already ready for you. Koi poochay, is that why you wanted them husbands to be home? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
So husbands, are these some of the annoying things you have to listen to on a daily basis? Let us know your shikway in the comments section below and tag your desi biwi too.
Cover image via: Six Sigma Plus