The hospitality that us Pakistanis show is something you should all be really proud about. After all, we believe in the mantra that “mehmaan rehmat hotey hain“. However some guests are just too stressful, not that we say it to their face but you know you dread their arrival.
See if you can find anyone you know here:
1. The guest who say they are your relative but you’re seeing them for the first time
This person will keep on asking you “pechana? Nai pechana?” and you are sitting there with a confused look on your face and trying hard to remember who is this person whose only concern is to remind you how they had once bought chocolate for you about 10 years ago at a third cousin’s bhabi‘s brother’s wedding.
2. The one who can’t stop being a show off
They will tell you about the new car they bought, how much they enjoyed during their fourth Euro trip in as many months or the menu of the dinner which that this random MNA guy was also at. All of this will be spoken within the first two minutes of conversation.
3. The guests with that annoying naughty kid
Oh, these people have the one kid whose training to ‘sit’ is worse than your new puppy’s. He will keep on wandering in the entire house. This badtameez kid will even go through everything in your room. Why do their parents even bring them to someone’s house? WHY?
4. The guest who’s simply the best
According to their perspective, I mean. Their daughters have higher grades than you, a dozen more rishtas already in the kitty and they have the looks of a model, to boot. The worst part? After they leave, your mom won’t stop comparing you to them. Sigh #sedlyf
5. The one who will always stay for dinner
So, let me walk you through the steps of being a guest to someone’s place. You go to their place, they serve you thanda garam then you talk about stuff and leave. No one wants to cook a dinner for you when they have not invited you for one.
6. The Examiner
Your dad has an old school friend over who is sort of a big deal because of all of their academic accomplishments. They come to your house, your dad calls for you to sit with “uncle” and then for every sip “uncle” takes from his teacup, he throws a question at you. What are you studying? What prospects does your degree give you? Have you thought about finance? Do you know software engineering is a big thing these days?
7. The match maker
This is usually a female guest and they will inspect you from head to toe and rank you, in ther mind, for their rishta scoreboard. Within seconds their brain’s database will return the results and they will tell your mom that the son of Parveen aunty’s cousin’s jethani is a perfect match for you. And don’t forget her comments on the tea you did not make.
8. The zinda laash
Ask them how their day was and tell them how nice they look, however many times you want, their only response is going to be: “hmm”. You just can’t even.
9. The ATM
These are the nicest guests because they’re the ones with the thickest wallets and the biggest hearts. Your mom keeps on telling them iski kia zarorat hai? While you look at that 1000 rupee note like a Lahori looked at thos seekh kebabs before they found out the meat was from a donkey and not a cow.
10. The cleanliness freak
As they enter, the first thing they notice is the tiny spider web at the corner of a wall. If there is a little trace of dust on the floor, they will suddenly become allergic to it. The bathrooms are never too tidy for them. So, before they arrive everyone at home is busy cleaning up the invisible mess that they always manage to find.
11. The Joker
They are a great party guest.They are always in a good mood and everything is great if you invite them over to those otherwise insufferable family gatherings.
12. The sarcastic aunty
With an acidic tongue, their words stab you right in the heart but you can’t complaint because mehmaan jo hain. They will never refrain from making a jab at you, every single time. She always finds ways to steer the conversation to you.
13. Your Rishtedaar
Not the ones you talk to for family dinners, only. But your actual, living, breathing relatives that you love hanging out with. Bonus points to them if this is your loving grandparent because you know if they are over, love is in the air!
Cover image via: Mubi Rana / dailymotion.com