Karan Johar’s much-awaited pre-partition Bollywood film ‘Kalank’ just dropped its trailer a few hours ago, and while it’s opened to mass praise and warmth, I found myself actually LOLLING (and finding a basket of WTF moments throughout it). The film stars Madhuri Dixit, Sanjay Dutt, Aditya Roy Kapur, Alia Bhatt, Sonakshi Sinha, and Varun Dhawan and is set in 1945 – so it suffices to say that it will be one of the grandest films we’ll be witnessing, post-Padmaavat. So the trailer opens with Alia’s voiceover about how her one decision changed the fate of everybody – and then it’s all a dizzying downfall from there on because I honestly have NO IDEA WTF IS GOING ON!
My first question is WHY do Muslim characters in Bollywood films always freaking wear kohl – Varun looks more like a serial killer tbh and less like the Muslim love interest of Alia…
We don’t need to see that, cover up Varun, please.
Oh, and he’s proper crying throughout the trailer? Please stop?
But hey, he’s making a good earning for himself as a BLACKSMITH (I don’t know why I find this so funny).
Meanwhile, Aditya loves his wife Sonakshi but then…
Marries Alia:…TF bro that’s messed up – guess YOU DON’T LOVE HER THAT MUCH AM I RIGHT?
He does make sure to be clear that there’s no pyaar in this rishta, only izzat. Whattay dialogue.
Why do I only see a poor man’s rendition of ‘Devdas’ when Madhuri pops up in a very heavily inspired Chandramukhi avatar?
…And suddenly, a wild (and random) Kunal Khemu appears!
There’s a whole lotta fire, how they stand so close to it is beyond me.
LOL.
What on earth is this?
Please, someone, hug Sanjay he’s very upset. Who did you wrong Sanju?
Here he is looking out to Mordor.
SOMEONE HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY.
Oh, and then we reach the monumental BLATANT RIP OFF of ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge’ with Alia and Varun (and Aditya lol, third wheel much bro)?
I'm here to tweet this part. Thanks#KalankTrailer#Kalank pic.twitter.com/V2rf7wlpRW
— K`ᶜˢᵏᶦᵃⁿ` (@k_23patel) April 3, 2019
Dilwale Dulhaniya Pakad Ke Rakhenge. #Kalank pic.twitter.com/JlN19K8DNA
— Justin Rao (@JustinJRao) April 3, 2019
The only takeaway I had from this actual Raj-Simran retelling was Alia’s robot hand as Aditya grabbed it! PLOT TWIST maybe???
I. Cannot. Look. Away.
Here’s the hilarious trailer of ‘Kalank.’
What do you think of the trailer? Are you excited to watch it?