11 Questions I Have For The WTF Trailer Of Alia Bhatt & Varun Dhawan’s New Movie “Kalank”

By Iman Zia | 3 Apr, 2019

Karan Johar’s much-awaited pre-partition Bollywood film ‘Kalank’ just dropped its trailer a few hours ago, and while it’s opened to mass praise and warmth, I found myself actually LOLLING (and finding a basket of WTF moments throughout it). The film stars Madhuri Dixit, Sanjay Dutt, Aditya Roy Kapur, Alia Bhatt, Sonakshi Sinha, and Varun Dhawan and is set in 1945 – so it suffices to say that it will be one of the grandest films we’ll be witnessing, post-PadmaavatSo the trailer opens with Alia’s voiceover about how her one decision changed the fate of everybody – and then it’s all a dizzying downfall from there on because I honestly have NO IDEA WTF IS GOING ON!

 

My first question is WHY do Muslim characters in Bollywood films always freaking wear kohl – Varun looks more like a serial killer tbh and less like the Muslim love interest of Alia…

Source: Dharma Productions

 

We don’t need to see that, cover up Varun, please.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Oh, and he’s proper crying throughout the trailer? Please stop?

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Source: Dharma Productions

 

But hey, he’s making a good earning for himself as a BLACKSMITH (I don’t know why I find this so funny).

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Meanwhile, Aditya loves his wife Sonakshi but then…

Source: Dharma Productions

Marries Alia:…TF bro that’s messed up – guess YOU DON’T LOVE HER THAT MUCH AM I RIGHT?

He does make sure to be clear that there’s no pyaar in this rishta, only izzat. Whattay dialogue.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Why do I only see a poor man’s rendition of ‘Devdas’ when Madhuri pops up in a very heavily inspired Chandramukhi avatar?

Source: Dharma Productions

 

…And suddenly, a wild (and random) Kunal Khemu appears!

Source: Dharma Productions

 

There’s a whole lotta fire, how they stand so close to it is beyond me.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

LOL.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

What on earth is this?

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Please, someone, hug Sanjay he’s very upset. Who did you wrong Sanju?

Here he is looking out to Mordor.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

SOMEONE HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Oh, and then we reach the monumental BLATANT RIP OFF of ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge’ with Alia and Varun (and Aditya lol, third wheel much bro)?

 

 

The only takeaway I had from this actual Raj-Simran retelling was Alia’s robot hand as Aditya grabbed it! PLOT TWIST maybe???

I. Cannot. Look. Away.

Source: Dharma Productions

 

Here’s the hilarious trailer of ‘Kalank.’

 

What do you think of the trailer? Are you excited to watch it?

 

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