Here's What Your Zodiac Sign Would Be Like As An Offensive Internet Comment

By Sajeer Shaikh | 1 Aug, 2017

Even though it may have no real meaning, people are super into knowing about their zodiac sign and what it symbolizes. For instance, horoscopes are still a thing. Since there’s a general trend going around where people want to know what category they fit into according to their zodiac signs, we decided to hop aboard that train as well.

However, we also decided to honor the trolls in our comments section. Because, why not? They go through the labor of typing out essays filled with hate. Might as well utilize them. Par yeh mazaaq hai toh please mazaaq ki tarah lene ki koshish karlena thori. Khair, here’s what your zodiac sign is like as an offensive internet comment:


Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

The classic, “feminism is cancer” comment. Making fun of diseases AND preaching about objectification. So much going on here.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Ooh, itni gaalian in the same sentence. Itna gussa. Damn.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Dekho clearly Aries walay don’t hold back. Ura detey hain. Verbally, of course. However, if those online threats seem a little too real to you, head over here or here to figure out how to protect yourself.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Ah, yes. Taurus, the bull – handling matters with subtle aggression.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Double the insult, you know. Silent, but deadly.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Poor Cancerians. Low key sad on the inside. Kinda politically incorrect. Low self-esteem. Bechare. 

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Leo. Shair. So animalistic, nahi?

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Is any offensive comment compilation complete without the lollipop analogy? Nope.


Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Libras. Kinda different, you know? Offending men. Zara hatke hain. 


Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Ooooh, the anti-West-Hollywood-binge-watchers. Again, this list would be incomplete without em’.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Two words: gairat brigade.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Ah, yes. Those who suggest that others should kill themselves. Great going, guys.

Ab kyunke disclaimer dena kaafi zaroori hogaya hai warna aap log bura maan jaatey hain, try not to take this too seriously. We all know that your zodiac sign has nothing to do with these comments. (Or anything for that matter.)

However, offensive internet comments have a lot to do with you, though.

Often, people on the internet become targets of cyber harassment. It can affect you psychologically and, well – that’s not okay. While we pretend to have thick skins, it’s always great to have someone to turn to. You guys can turn to Digital Rights Foundation. Their cyber harassment helpline is functional on weekdays from 9 am to 5 pm. Head over to their Facebook page for more details as well.

However, if this pissed you off – well, yeah. Offensive comments do that. And since you guys will probably let us know how offended you are through more offensive comments, go ahead and leave em’ below. Cheers.

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