These are the discussions we really need to be having.
For years, there have been two kinds of people among Pakistanis. The ‘Burgers’ vs the ‘Pure Desis.”
Now, don’t get me wrong, most of us usually use these terms in a light, funny way and never to offend anyone. So you can imagine that there has never really been a shortage of tweets and memes and references when it comes to calling someone out for being a ‘Burger’ or being super ‘Desi.’
There is one thing though, that every Pakistani in the world prioritizes over everything else and that is,
A really great cup of chai.
Oh. Yes.
However, this recent tweet on chai just triggered a shit ton of Pakistanis,
what's chai latte? it's badly made dudh-patti. now, here's the thing: if you go to a dhaba, you get good dudh-patti for Rs25/30. but if you are a sucker, stuck in a group that speaks in a faux-accent, you will go to Gloria Jean's and pay Rs600 for bad dudh-patti! my sympathies!
— EH (@ejazhaider) February 5, 2019
And brah, I am INCLUDED.
Ejaz Haider started the metaphorical hurricane when he compared a ‘chai latte’ to ‘dudh patti’ and it pretty much started a national debate on chai.
Honestly, I've never come across a bigger scam than "chai latte tea".
— Shazina Masud (@shazinamasud) February 6, 2019
Oh yeah, it got pretty serious.
As we spoke about the great ‘Pakistani divide before,’ you know, the Burger/Desi one? You can guess what happened next.
Oh yes, the two groups went head to head in an epic battle to see who knew more about chai.
Gripping stuff.
On our right, we had basically ever Desi person ever who mocks your like for English music, American TV shows and Hollywood celebrity crushes.
Gloria Jean's is so badly overrated
— Mir.Y.U (@MYUwrites) February 6, 2019
Thank God stay miles away from Gloria Jeans, even there coffee is not good , have to be mad to try chai 😛
— Asma Naseem (@Wisevenus) February 5, 2019
Those who go to these places for chae or coffee or whatever,I myself can make better than them and I make for myself everytime. Finding a good dhaba and sitting there with friends is better . Chae Khana,Gloria jeans, English tea house they all suck
— Anonymous (@_Floydian) February 6, 2019
Indeed! Getting TV show scrapped and soon to be on Youtube now joining other struggling clowns, you are well-advised to forget chai-latte and change over to doodh patti from a dhabaa wala.
— Hamza (@UnitedPak__) February 6, 2019
And on our left, all the ‘Burger’ kids trying to ever so tediously describe and outline the exact differences between a chai latte and dudh patti, for their own sanity.
You're right. But, people who go to Gloria Jean's aren't paying for the chai latte. They're paying to sit inside a quiet, air-conditioned space with more privacy than you get a dhaba. It's a different product altogether.
— Zaalim Samaj (@EmpressMarket) February 5, 2019
It's a blessing for us chai folks here (Canada) when you're really stuck somewhere and you need tea/breakfast and all you have around are goddamn coffee shops.. was literally a life saver for me once.
— Sherry (@CherieDamour_) February 5, 2019
Chai latte got cinnamon as well.
— Pandiet (@Pandiet2) February 6, 2019
Sir I go to Gloria Jean’s like everyday but for coffee + the environment + I wanna sit in public place… Dhabba can’t compete because of various reasons, it’s road side full of dust, you can’t comfortably sit there for long hours and work on your laptop etc 😊
— Raheel Ayub (@raheelayub) February 5, 2019
It seems that even outside of the usual realm of movies, music and media, ‘snobbiness’ exists at every level of a desi’s general being. Now I don’t just mean the usual Birkin clad and fur coddled snobbiness, no no, I also mean the dheet desi aunty complex that forbids anything other than your likes and dislikes to be absolutely shitty.
This whole chai debate is perhaps just another form of everyone trying to prove that their taste is more expensive or more patriotic than the others.
The thing is, chai is not just a drink to have in the mornings along with a piece of toast. No, in Pakistan, the act of drinking chai is pretty much one of the most sacred things you can do, regardless of who you are and where you come from. People across all forms of political and social levels appreciate, love and savor chai in the same manner. It is perhaps one of the few things that unites Pakistani, everywhere.
Whether it is sitting down on a rainy day and sipping some warm dudh patti with your friends or having a ‘halal’ rishta date at Gloria. It’s a buffer, a chance to get to know someone and even just a friendly conversation with someone you’ve known forever.
So we can scream and shout about who prefers what but the bottom line, we all love it and that’s something that will never change.
Have you seen the debate? Let us know what you think in the comments below! Love you, love chai.
This Pakistani-American Couple Opened A Chai Dhaaba In New York City & It’s As Cute As Their Love Story
17 Things That Make The Perfect Pair With Your Chai
Cover photo source: Chowhound/MilkLife