Do you hate people who don’t agree with you on the Internet? Do you want to correct the world?
If you answered yes to the questions above, here’s a guide on how to do it right:
When someone says something you don’t agree with, you go through 4 stages of intense reaction:
STAGE 1- DENIAL
You are placidly scrolling through your news feed, belly settled comfortably in your lap, double chin sticking out, procrastinating. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. And it happens. Gasp. Oh NO they di-int. What. Is. This. Something I don’t agree with???? HOW??? How can someone’s opinion be different than mine?? It’s not like we’re a diverse group of people with different belief systems. How dare someone use their freedom of speech??? What do they think this is, the 21st century???
STAGE 2- ANGER
Morons. This cannot be allowed for. I must roll up my sleeves, slap on my social media keyboard warrior badge and fix all the injustice in the world. Okay maybe not all of it but, like, the one related to this thing that I, most sentient human out of 7 billion people, don’t agree with.
STAGE 3- CONTEMPLATION
You know the feeling. The fight-or-flight instinct that kicks in when you encounter something that challenges your opinion.
STAGE 4- ACTION
Here’s what you can do to resolve the dissonance:
- Rant about it
The most common one. 2016: A Rant Odyssey. E.g. ranting about Qandeel Baloch being a weirdo, and after her death, ranting about her being an awesome feminist and declaring jihad against the patriarchy (pseudo hipster feminists, I’m lookin’ atchu)
The ranting media can range from Twitter to Facebook groups and pages. *wink wink nudge nudge*
- Don’t save your energy and time
Don’t even dare, spend time researching on the thing you hate. Look up arguments, counter-counter arguments and resolutions to be better-informed about the thing you hate. Tell people about the thing you hate so that they look into it too. Share the posts about the thing you hate, disregarding the fact that you’re voting for more content like that in the future. Because why ever use the basic cognitive abilities that God granted us?
- Don’t agree to disagree
That shit’s for 12 year olds. You must reign supreme.
Only your opinion can be right.
And you have to make sure e v e r y o n e knows it.
- Annihilate anyone who mentions ‘Freedom of Speech’
FoS? New number who dis. Freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences of speech???? Surely everyone knows it????? Like, Cyril Almeida had freedom of speech, Dawn had freedom of press but whatevs, it was justified to put him on the ECL because he was, like, defaming Pakistan and, preserving a system’s reputation is so much more important than actually talking about the issues that plague it and effect its people. The pen isn’t that much mightier than the sword. LMAO.
The struggle on the internet is real
Jokes aside, if mere facts can make you angry then it means that there is something very wrong going on in our worlds that should be talked about if we want to avoid repeat incidents in the future.
Hating on things because they are inconsistent with your beliefs is ridiculous. How is your dogma justified against anyone else’s? Answer: It’s not.
Rhetoric is powerful. Rhetoric is important. Use it wisely.
Otherwise, all you’re doing is adding negativity to the world.
Cover image via: Six Sigma Plus