15 Perfectly Reasonable Replies To Send To Your Zaalim Ex When They Try To Get Back In Your Life

By Sajeer Shaikh | 7 Jun, 2017

Every once in a while, when you start thinking that stability isn’t a pipe dream, and everything is great, life decides to trip you up and makes you fall flat on your face. One of the ways life does this is by dragging your zaalim ex back into your life. Now, you may remember clearly how it all went down and how it wasn’t pretty. Your ex probably does, too. Which is why it comes off as a bit of a surprise when you see their name or number flash on your phone’s screen.

How should you reply to the dreaded text from your ex, you ask? Well, here are a few suggestions:


1. “Not today, shaitan.”

Because sometimes, you’re just not in the mood to deal with extra kachra.

Via Giphy


2. “The user you are trying to reach is unavailable.”

Okay, this probably won’t work, but it’s kind of funny.

Source: ARY Films


3. “Kisi aur ka sar khao.

Because, why you should you have to deal with fazool ka sar dard?

Source: Rajeev Masand / YouTube


4. “Why are you so obsessed with me?”

Hit em’ with a Mean Girls reference.

Source: M.G. Films / Broadway Video


5. “Quench your pyaas elsewhere, thanks.”

Because you’re not a well for your pyaasa ex.

Source: ARY Films


6. “Lol, bye.”

Simple, but effective.

Via Tumblr


7. “Moaziz saarif, aap ka matluba number band hai. For life.”

Not like it isn’t true. You’re pretty much a dead end.

Source: Sadia Jabbar Productions


8. “Seriously?”

Sometimes, a single word does the trick.

Via Tumblr


9. “Matlab banday main thori sharam hee hoti hai.

Just stating facts at this point.

Via Make A Gif


10. “New phone, who dis?”

Go ahead. Make your zaalim ex feel like they never existed.

Via Giphy


11. “I’ve got better things to do.”

Not like it isn’t true.

Via Tumblr


12. “Sweetie, no.”

Shut. Them. Down.

Via Tenor


13. “Yaar, actually aaj hee no-bullshit diet shuru ki hai, so bye.”

You know as well as anyone else that diets have a strict regime. You don’t make the rules.

Via Tumblr


14. “Please re-evaluate your life and decisions.”

Hit em’ with some honesty.

Via Tumblr


15. Ramazan special: “Hmm, thought you’d be locked up this month.”

Let’s face it – this is a Ramazan classic.

Via Tumblr


Dealing with exes can be a bit of a heartbreaking experience, given what you’ve both been through. How do you deal with your ex? Are you snarky or do you prefer being nice? Would you ever use these replies, or do you have something better in mind? Comment below and let us know.


Cover image via: muxlay.com


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