Okay so before everyone gets super angry, flustered and goes all Sahir Lodhi on us,

this is not a mango hating article. Actually in fact, if you think about it, we’re talking about how much we appreciate mangoes. Being a mango-hater in Pakistan is a full time job and really, sometime we could use a little protection. Protection for our dils, of course.

SO, without further ado, here are some of the best ways you can protect yourself if you hate mangoes in Pakistan:

1. Deny

Avoid the hate, avoid the glares, avoid ami ki jooti. Deny, deny, deny.

2. Say you hate all food

Just tell everyone you hate all kinds of food and that mangoes just fall under that umbrella of hate. No discrimination here!

3. Blame on being allergic lol

Lolsy, easy. Bonus points for faking a reaction!

4. Say you hate puppies (it will offset the mango hate)

I mean, there’s really no one that will not hate you for this but at least you’ll be let off the hook for hating mangoes! Take what you can get dost, take what you can get.

5. Promote your love for biryaani (distract them)

Again, off set the hate. Use another food that will guarantee you some love with any and every desi person in the world. Unless you like pulao…

6. Deny

Avoid the hate, avoid the glares, avoid ami ki jooti. Deny, deny, deny.

7. Bring up politics

Finallllly, Nawaz is finally useful for something. Imran, PPP, Kashmir! Literally anything related to Pakistani politics is a guaranteed green card out of mango hating danger.

8. Say you’re an Allah wala and don’t get into these things

Start talking about the importance of acceptance in Islam and how being a good Muslim is a religion with no specific mango laws.

9. Start talking about cricket, Fakhar it up

Just show everyone this ^

Conversation will follow.

10. Say, “roza hai yaar“

Who would hate on someone keeping a roza? Sharam nahi aatee?

11. Say you love MangoBaaz instead, we’ll protect you. Love you.

We got your back, jack.

12. Deny

Avoid the hate, avoid the glares, avoid ami ki jooti. Deny, deny, deny.

13. If nothing works, just suck it up and eat a mango

You live in Pakistan, friend. It’s the mango capital of the world. Our hearts bleed green and yellow. Just let the hate come, there’s really not much you can do about it. Sorry.

Do you dislike mangoes as well? Do you like mango flavored things but not mangoes? Do you hate us for writing this? Let us know in the comments below! Love you.

Cover image via: Walt Disney Pictures / UTV Motion Pictures / Anil Kapoor Films Company