13 Absolutely False Misconceptions About Living In A Joint Family In Pakistan

By Ather Ahmed | 8 May, 2017

Joint family life is the best life

I would be lying if I say that growing up in a joint family isn’t challenging. It had its own share of hangups, I agree. However trivial issues relating to joint families have been blown out of proportion. The recent influx of South Asian dramas where every family member is at each other’s throat for the most trivial reason like who spilled chai on the floor has given way to a plethora of misconceptions some of which I am gonna address here.


1. No, it’s not called a joint family because we smoke-up together

Like, seriously ? Already the concept of joint families is demonized. Now you’re gonna pull the narcotics spin on it as well, just because of a stupid pun. You better check yourself before you riggidy wreck yourself.

Source: cut.com

On a related note, btw I always had this  curiosity of sharing a doobie with my grandparents.


2. ‘Saas‘ and ‘Bahu‘ are not always trying to put down each other

TV serials, for the longest time, have portrayed the dynamic between saas and bahu as a tug of war with the mazloom husband/son hanging in the middle.

Source: Oriental Films

I mean sure, while living in the same house there are moments where they  don’t always get along but that’s common in every kind of relationship. My mother and paternal grandmother pretty much had a blast when we lived together. Plus, as the saying goes ‘kyunkay saad bhi kabhi bahu thee‘ **cue in theme song**


3. Chachi, tayee, and ammi aren’t running for each others’ throats

There is no practical advantage for either of them to be fighting or politicking against one another while living under the same roof. In fact if anything it’s in their benefit to present a united front to tackle much bigger threats like phuphos.


4. Living with phupho is not the horrible nightmare you expect

I don’t get why phuphos have gotten such a bad rep. They are shown as lizard people from out of space looking to annihilate the human race and the only things standing in between are you and your mother.

Source: Oriental Films

In my experience phuphos have always been the voice of reason in a joint family arrangement. They serve as a communication bridge between your mother and your dad’s family when things appear tense. And if the phupho is married they can become your mother’s best friend in such a situation since they can relate better.


5. Deciding what food to cook for dinner doesn’t require a team of rocket scientists

It’s pretty much a normal task. Other than a few occasional temper tantrums everyone is pretty much on the same page with what kind of food is cooked. Even at times when someone doesn’t agree with the decision he or she has the courtesy to remain silent and not create a scene.


6. There are no nervous breakdowns when someone decides to order in food

No one is really bothered by this decision. Sure you get a few looks of disdain by some relatives. However everything is pretty much fine. Its not like you are doing anything illegal.

Source: Deedle-Dee Productions


7. Yes you can go out without taking everyone else along with you

Source: Filmwala Pictures


8. Food is not that big of an issue, period

Via: Tumblr


9. Yes, you can have friends over without everyone butting in

I mean if the house has enough space call your friends over have a blast. As long as you and your friends maintain the sanctity of the house non of your relatives will have an issue. Same rules as a nuclear family.

via Deenga


10. No one is conspiring to kill anyone else to grab all the jaidaad and blame the murder on another person, in any joint family in real life

Unlike what the dramas and movies want you to believe.

Source: 7th Sky Entertainment


11. Your elders don’t deliberately try to create any difference between your cousins and your siblings

Source: Oriental Films


12. You aren’t disowned by your daadi when you leave the joint family setup for whatever reason

Source: Oriental Films

Everyone is supportive and enthusiastic at the prospect of attending an additional dawat during Eid.


13. Everyone has equal say while watching TV, in a joint family

Okay lol,  that’s maybe stretching it.

Source: 7th Sky Entertainment

Jiskay haath mein remote uski choice.


Share your joint family stories with us, and remember, joint woh wala nahi jo aap peetay hain.


Cover image via: Hum Network Limited

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