How To Get Away With Murder In Pakistan

By Sajeer Shaikh | 26 Aug, 2017

First things first, I’m not about to Viola Davis this article. This isn’t ShondaLand and I’m not about to launch into how to literally get away with murder. Sorry.

Source: ShondaLand

But what I am about to do is talk about how we’ve successfully gotten away with murder for pretty much the longest time. Not murdering people – woh bhi hai, but that’s probably another topic for another day.


Right now, let’s talk about how we’ve been getting away with murdering our environment. Here’s a complete breakdown of the steps:

Cut down all the trees you have

Because who needs the soil to be held together tightly by the roots of trees to prevent soil erosion, you know? Or the absorption of carbon dioxide? The funny thing is, we’re not even replanting trees. Yes, the government of KPK did plant 1 billion trees pretty recently. And that was great. But we need more of that. A lot more.


Ignore the greenhouse effect

So what exactly is the greenhouse effect? Here, this might help:


So, yeah. Let’s just help kill our planet by completely ignoring the fact that the greenhouse effect is real.

Contribute to the greenhouse effect

Sometimes, our activities lead to the release of greenhouse gases that actually contribute to the greenhouse effect. Some of these gases are carbon dioxide, methane, chlorofluorocarbons, nitrous oxide and water vapor. By failing to curb those activities, we’re kinda actively contributing to the murder of our planet.


Never, ever try to curb pollution of any kind

A report released by World Bank, titled ‘Cleaning Pakistan’s Air’ stated:

“Pakistan’s urban air pollution is among the most severe in the world and it engenders significant damage to human health and the economy.”

Iske elawa, we have water pollution and noise pollution – all of which we’ve greatly contributed to. It’s like the planet is dying and we’re the qassais sitting in a corner, sharpening our knives furthermore. Kinda brutal.


In fact, contribute to pollution

I mean you could start carpooling or using public transport to limit the number of vehicles on roads that emit harmful gases. And you could stop dumping garbage pretty much anywhere you find. And you could try to protest against large scale dumping of chemical waste by factories into water bodies. You could do a lot.

Par nahi, contribute to pollution. That’s how you get away with murder, after all. And have been for a pretty long time now.


Let agricultural productivity decrease

Pakistan is already a country prone to natural disasters. It’s been hit by floods almost every year in the last decade alone. Those floods have claimed countless lives and homes. But it doesn’t just stop there. There are evident impacts that climate change has had on the country.

Out of all the damage that’s been caused, a lot of it has been borne by the agricultural sector time and again. Our agricultural productivity has decreased over the years. While it may sound fancy, it impacts you pretty directly. Agriculture, farming, animal rearing, khaana? A bit of a selfish reason to care, but it’s something to think about.


Continue not caring

This doesn’t take away from the environmentalists who are working their asses off for a better tomorrow for our country. No, this one’s for all of us – you, me, those around you – who have chosen to ignore our dying planet’s pleas time and again. What’s the cruelest way to kill someone? Watch them extend their hand for help as they’re dying and feign indifference.


What do you think about this list? Does it help? Does it make you feel a tad bit guilty? Whatever it is that you feel, let us know in the comments below.


Cover image via: Shutterstock

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