For those who just want to ditch any plan that’s made.
It’s been a lazy day, you’re cuddled up in bed with your laptop and an indescribable (and shameful) amount of half-open chocolate bars, biscuits and chips. You’ve decided it’s some time to just binge watch T.V. shows and incessantly scrolling through Twitter and Instagram.
You get a message on your phone – it’s your friend.
Kahan ho? Kya scene hai raat ka?
You’re not feeling it at all and death would be better at this point. So what do you do? How do you flake out without ruining lives?
Fear not, children. Here are some of the best ways to ditch a plan with a 100% success rate:
1. Put your phone on airplane mode and ignore any calls and messages
The time stamp has ruined lives. Don’t go online until the absolute last minute.
2. ‘Accidentally’ fall asleep.
It ain’t your fault.
3. Hide at your mamu‘s home just in case your friends come knocking at your house
Because knowing the friends you have, they’ll just about hunt you down anywhere.
4. Blame it on your mommy
Count on your mothers to take one for the team.
5. Or the bazaar ka ganda khaana
Your friends value their cars more than your life. Tell them there’s a high percentage you’ll throw up in their first love, and the plan will fizzle out itself.
6. Tell them you’ve become really sad after watching a really, really sad movie so you don’t have the strength to do anything but curl up and cry
Tell them it reminds you of an unattainable crush or your ex or even bae. You want to wallow.
7. You can even tell them all your clothes are at the dhobi and you can’t go out in your dirty pjs.
Saare dhone ke liye rakhe hain.
8. Assignments wala excuse always works.
Mujhse na ho paye ga.
9. If they call, act like you’re drunk.
Too drunk to leave the comfort of your abode.
10. Or that you hurt your foot trying to exercise
11. Tell them your driver’s khala‘s dewar‘s sister died so he’s out and you can’t go without him
12. You can always pretend you’re typing for as long as you can and let them time for hanging out pass
That’ll freak them out. P.S: Works best on iMessage.
13. If nothing else works, just move out of your city, change your name, your hairstyle and never speak to your friends ever again
Now, go and ditch your friends. You’re welcome.
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Cover image via: Entertainment HD / dailymotion.com