One of the best things about childhood was that no one expected you to cultivate an intelligent sense of humor. You could laugh at anything no matter how absurd or stupid without being judged by others. As an adult its like being constantly being monitored by the joke police. Even the slightest smirk at a fart joke could make you pariah in society. Jokes now have to fulfill a certain set of standards. It’s not about what makes you laugh on the inside for them but rather what either has a logical premise, contains a genitalia reference or both.
Having said that, here some of the supposedly ‘lame’ childhood jokes and insults which I wish adults would embrace again:
1. Jo kehta hai woh khud hota hai
This was the most effective comeback, back in the day. I mean the structure is flawless. It literally translates to “What you say is what you are’ .There is absolutely no way one can counter this.
2. Teapot Teapot Teapot
Say it multiple times in quick succession. I double dare you 😉
3. Yar dost hai poem
‘Yar dost hai‘
‘bili ka gosht hai‘
‘Choohay ka achar hai‘
‘bara mazedar hai‘
‘hey you are my friend,cat meat, pickeled rat and tasty’
These could very well be the lyrics by a psychedelic rock group from the 60s. I would’ve easily believed it if someone told me that it was an excerpt from the late Jim Morrison’s diary.
4. The Bolo TV childhood jokes
Imran Khan kee biwi.
Now you have to understand the context here. This originated when Imran Khan was newly married to now ex bhabi-e-millat, Jemima Goldsmith. People simply didn’t knew what to make out of the situation. Hence this joke which shares the dynamics of a knock knock joke came into being.
5. The other Bolo joke
Teri shaadi cancel.
I mean no one would appreciate his or her wedding to be cancelled out of the blue.
6. And yet another Bolo joke
I think given the state of PIA these days this very much applies to the company’s management.
7. Damada mast qalandar poem is another one of the hilarious childhood jokes you’re sure to have told
Samosay pait kay ander
chawani jaib kay ander
woh dekho kala bandar
I would love to see Abida Parveen do a rendition of this in the next season of Coke Studio.
8. Aik Pakistani, aik angrez aur aik Indian childhood jokes are also funny
Basically the Indian bechara was humiliated whenever these three were up to something.
9. Choonti hathi childhood jokes are aplenty
These still have the power to crack you up, tbh.
10. One of the childhood jokes is the story about a boy named Chaddi
I know what you’re thinking. Why would anyone name his or her child Chaddi? It’s a debate for some other time.
The synopsis of this tale was that Chaddi climbed up the roof of his school and the Principal got furious. Out of anger the principal instructed everyone in school to pull Chaddi down. And guess what they did?
11. The doctor who can’t stop saying ‘MashAllah, InshAllah’
Now this one was really morbid. A doctor has this habit of saying ‘MashAllah’ and ‘InshAllah’. One day a patient comes to him and his like ‘ I have a headache” to which the doctor answers ‘MashAllah’. The patient then asks “would I die?”
Guess what the doctor answers?
12. Have you heard the childhood jokes about naan and the nihari?
Whats did the Nihari say to the naan while it was showering?
“Ander nahi ana mein ‘Nihari’ hoon”
13. Thank you very much
You are a magarmuch.
Do you know any other childhood jokes that made you laugh like crazy when you were young?
Cover image via: Mcclearn Hahnfeld / YouTube