Becoming A Khala Has Officially Scared Me Shitless About Motherhood

By Zainab Ali | 16 Jun, 2018

I didn’t realize becoming a Khala would be such a big moment in my life, and not in a good way. Being a Khala of five very adorable (and stubborn af) kids (three of one sister and two of the another), I have come to the conclusion that being a mother is pretty scary.

Now, when I actually think about it, I would really like to thank my mom from the bottom of my heart for putting up with all of my shit and then some.


Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is sacred and beautiful, but it’s the toughest hood there is!

Source: IIsuperwomenII / youtube

So what are the scariest parts in this very long trial? If you are a mother yourself, a notorious phupho, or a khala, you already have a list forming in our mind. Let me share some of the bits that give me mini heart attacks when I think of having to do them for my own kid someday:


The sleepless nights

Source: Tiger Aspect Productions

I love my sleep. I will not sacrifice my sleep for anything, it is so pure to me that when I think about me actually having to wake up a couple of times at night because my baby keeps crying gives my goosebumps. Being a Khala, I can hand the baby to its rightful carer – the mother and go on with my sleep. There’s no snooze button on a baby right??


Touching actual poop


I cringe thinking about touching my own poop, how am I supposed to touch another beings? Yes the baby will be mine, BUT POOP IS STILL POOP. I might end up throwing up while cleaning my baby girl’s poop and then end up having to clean two things. ugh


Being patient


Patience is the most important thing when it comes to being a mother. You need patience in every single part of raising a kid: In messes that you have to clean up, teaching them, grooming them, making them happy etc. I barely have patience for my Netflix to load, and here we are talking about teaching kids their ABC’s.


Trying to figure out why your baby is crying

As a Khala, all you need to do is hand over the baby to mommy dearest when it starts crying.


There are endless reasons as to why your baby might be crying:

Sleepy, flu, tummy ache, fever, hiccups, wants to burp, upset stomach, feels cold, feels hot, pooped, can’t poop etc. the list is never ending omg. So how tf am i supposed to figure out which one it is??? Google can barely help on this one and I do not feel in control.


Putting up with tantrums

Source: Hum Films

Kids are actually scary. If you ask me if I’d rather spend a day alone with a super scary dog, than a three year old, I’d pick the super scary dog. Kid’s don’t even look at where they’re gonna throw the tantrum they just do (pubic bathroom, store, bus, parlor), and it’s honestly so uncalled for most of the times. I’m not a hitter, so I doubt I’d give them a good thapar, so I’m hoping we’ll all use our words?


How to not cry when they talk back

Source: Hum Network Limited

So kid’s can be pretty mean. Like my 4 year old niece talked back to me once and I was literally shook for like 2 minutes. The worst part is they don’t even know how mean they’re being, so I just feel like I would want to just sit in a corner and cry. I actually might end up doing that, I’m a crier.


Not being able to do anything you used to call ‘fun

Source: Imagine Entertainment

My sister is such a downer now, like she wants to do everything like watch movies and go chill at the mall, but doing things that were once ‘fun’ are like mission impossible because of her kids. Staying up past 12am is a big deal to her, and she hasn’t seen a movie in a movie theatre in six years. Of course going to the playground with her kids is now the new fun, but is it? Is it really?


What is a social life

Source: MD Productions

I already have like three friends only, so when I actually do end up having a kid I’m probably going to end up with no friends. My friends will be my kids, which is a bit depressing to think about. I’ll be that mom who calls her son her best friend, and the son is all weirded out like ok mom pls stop. But on a very serious note, nope, very minimal social life.


Actually realising you’re a parent now  

Source: United Plankton Pictures

I think the scariest part might be actually realizing that you are the adult now. You have to make responsible choices, and do what you believe is best for your kid, you’ll have no one else to do it for you. I personally always tend to ask for help whenever I make even the tiniest decision, so when it’s just me and the baby who will i consult? Yes you are right, probably my baby.


Doing everything all at once

Source: Viacom 18

Kids are very, very, VERY messy. They can create a mess in like two minutes, and it’ll take you centuries to clean up. The thing is, you can either run after your child trying to feed them, or trying to clean up after them, or cook food, or change their clothes, or getting the door because someone just came over, BUT mothers end up doing everything. Makes my head hurt a little thinking about it. I sometimes just sit on my head and watch my sister running around and I’m like wtf (then I go help her out obviously).

Being a mother is one of the most fulfilling things in the world. It’s taking care of a life completely dependent on you for survival. This includes a lot of diaper changes, cleaning up vomits, running after kids, and barely getting any sleep. I realize this now after helping my sister out in almost all of these things with her kids.

So yes, motherhood is super complicated and challenging, but it is definitely worth it in the end right? They may get worse in their teenage years, but they do have your back… I guess.


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