Shaadis have turned into something else these days. The new shaadi trend this past year has been ‘virality’. Who cares about paisleys and embroidery? Nowadays, your shaadi is a marketing student’s project on making your wedding hashtag go crazy viral is where the action is at.

So if you feel left out and ‘irrelevant’ (shudders) this shaadi season then this guide is what you so desperately need:

Make an event Instagram account the moment you start crushing on your to be partner. 

Many brides these days have Instagram accounts, curating images from all their wedding prep, dance rehearsals, dress fittings and whatnot.

Book some fancy photographers for your engagement announcement

Yes you need an engagement announcement. Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook, IT SHOULD BE EVERYWHERE.

You most definitely need to make a wedding hashtag

If you have a famous name, put it in the hashtag for you but if you’re average then just make it full of puns.

Have all your friends post pictures for a countdown to the big day

Make all your ‘best men’ and ‘maids of honor’ post pictures on  their social media

They can provide everyone with the necessary BTS the internet needs.

Start making yourself visible at all the magazine events.

Time to get up in all them ‘high society’ stuff

Time to get at least famous designer to make your shaadi ka jora

 And to really up the game post a selfie with the designer, you know log ko tou pata chalna chahiye na! 

Casually ‘ask’ your ‘friends’ at the magazines to ‘feature’ your pictures online.

Also casually ‘ask’ your famous makeup wali to share your look online 

Oh haan, allow your photographer to post your photos online

Hold a minimum of 25 dholkis

And throw into the mix videos of your dance practice with your ‘friend’ who definitely isn’t a professional choreographer, LOL, what even like they’re your bff.

Ask your chota bhai or behan to bombard the ‘lifestyle magazines’ with your photos.

Since you ‘asked’ them so ‘nicely’ they’ll have to oblige and abra cadabra your photos are all over the internet.

Finally, make sure someone at MangoBaaz sees your shaadi hashtag

Agar MangoBaaz pe aye ga toh sahi viral ho ga na.

And this is for all the regular boring old folks who can’t go viral:

Shut up, no need to get stupid freaking viral. Enjoy your big day, chill and dwell in the moment. Shaadi virality should be the last thing you need to worry about. You are about to spend the rest of your life with the person you love, aww, and you don’t need stupid virality. Now calm down Pakistan!

Jeez!

Cover Photo Courtesy: uaemoms.ae