Life isn’t easy when your mind doesn’t cooperate and remember the really REALLY important stuff. So let’s start with the basics.
Step-by-step, so we don’t forget anything along our way:
1. You leave things around all the time.
It’s not that you don’t care, you just assume that you have them with you once you decide to move from one location to the next, and you forget to check.
2. You’ve definitely gone around looking for your glasses, only to find them on top of your head.
This one just maaaaay be your blond roots showing.
3. You’ve also defo called your friends asking them if they’ve seen your phone.
You’re relieved to be told, “check your hand, dumbass.”
4. Without that “save password” feature, life would be a lot harder than it is.
But for others’ computers, you’ve got a draft message somewhere in your phone with all your accounts and passwords because you honestly can’t remember this shizz.
5. Speed-reading is your best friend.
If you let a book sit for more than a few days, no matter how interesting it is and no matter what page you’re at, you forget the plot and need to restart.
6. But don’t kid yourself, you’re failing those rattay wallay exams.
You hate teachers who want by-the-book answers.
7. You forget you’ve lent your things to people, leading you to unfairly believe your maasi is stealing.
Which is totally wrong and uncool of you. Keep your prejudice in check, yo.
8. And that they’ve lent their things to you.
Am I a sleep-walking thief or did this never-before-seen Bowie shirt just always belong to me?
9. You owe people money but you can’t remember which ones.
Your approach to the matter is pretty candid – “yaar zra bta, tujhe maine paisay denay hain ya nai?”
10. You’re also accused of being spoilt.
If you lose things on a regular basis, you must not know the value of them, right? Wrong! God gave you this brain and it’s PERFECTLY imperfect, okay? :'(
11. In reality, your ass is broke AF.
That’s you in most dukanein, but since you’re constantly losing things, you’re constantly in need of same-but-new things.
12. Sometimes, you ask your amma for a dua to help you find your lost stuff.
She recommends Ayat-al-Kursi (which is the Muslim equivalent to her answer-to-all haldi totkay) and Innah Lillah Hi Wa Inna Illaihi Raja’oon – which is good for bad news, too.
13. Which leads to constant lectures from your mom about keeping track of your things.
“Beta, iss umar mai tumhara ye haal hai, baray ho k kia ho ga?”
14. At some point, you start believing that jinn are involved.
You can’t nope out of the house fast enough.
15. You share sensitive gossip but forget the long chain of friendships that exist between you and someone else.
You spoke to Ayesha, who’s friends with Naima, who’s sister to Waqas, whose bestie Ashar is dating Bisma whose love lives are central to your gossip. In reality you really just meant to tell Farah, who is the Jon Snow of your social circle. Fuxx.
16. Actually this is a pretty common thread in your life.
Telling someone something they’re not supposed to know BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FORGET STUFF.
17. At least you’re a pro at damage control now.
And if not, it’s only because you can’t remember the techniques – stalling, blitzing, playing dumb, yadda yadda.
18. But try as you might, something’s gonna get lost or forgotten.
You’ve pretty much accepted it at this point in your life.
19. And if nothing else, ammi will always be able to find it for you so smile 🙂
“ye tumhari aankhein hain ya button?” she says, smacking the back of your head while handing you your long-lost treasure.
Are you a forgetful freak, let us know in the comments below.
Cover Image via: Israr Shah Photography
Zarra ye bhee check karein: