Editor’s note: This is a satirical article
The Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) concluded their 200th meeting this Friday, where women rights were extensively discussed. After a short deliberation, it was ruled that women smiling is un-Islamic and goes against Sharia. It needs to permanently be contained by a ban.
This decision was made on the basis of the haram-full effects a woman’s smile can have on men. Members reached a consensus that smiling was a form of Fitna and any form of Fitna is Haram. Especially when girls start laughing – this can also amount to blasphemy, which is punishable by death.
Our only correspondent with a beard was told that the decision came in light of the rise of woman smiling deliriously left, right and center. CII’s Chairman Maulana Muhammad Khan Shirani, while addressing the committee, said that a woman smiling is a western and Jewish ideal; it’s not part of Islamic traditions and values. Since the country was formed on the principles of Sharia, it’s imperative that women stop smiling or we would crumble as a Nation.
The entire committee applauded the Chairman for these words and the hall was filled with MashAllahs and SubhanAllahs.
The Council has also released a series of pictures to help women use their cheek muscles the halal way.
While concluding the session, Maulana Shirani also stressed upon the equal rights of women and vowed that Council of Islamic Ideology would work tirelessly to give every woman her rights.
After the meeting Maulana Shirani cut the cake in celebration of the 200th annual CII meeting. The Pakistani Government is also sending the CII core members and the Chairman on a 7 day trip to Dubai where they will enjoy desert safaris, belly dancing, cruising and shopping – all this for their devoted services to Shariah.
You can also view some of the pictures from the event down below.
Cake for the 200th Annual CII meeting
Council Members along with the Chairman gather for a photo.