It’s easy to want to get married during wedding season. With all the glitz and glamour, around, everything can be mesmerizing. However, there a number of reasons to not getting married after university.

We are no authority on who can get married and who can’t, but few realize how much work marriage really is. You can get lucky and find someone who is perfect in every way possible,  but you need training if you want something long-term and meaningful. People in their early twenties need to be pragmatic when it comes to their futures.

Here are just a few things to keep in mind if you want to get married right after graduation.

1. You have no job, no skills, and no savings

Whether you’re a boy or girl, you should never have to depend on someone financially. Right after graduating, most people don’t have a great job or any experience. You may even be paying off student loans. At this point in your life, financially, it’s just not smart to get married. Love doesn’t pay the bills.

2. Marriages are stressful

Young marriages can be torn apart by stress. In your early twenties, you are at an age full of frustration, anger, jealousy, and insecurities. You don’t realize how hard marriage is until you walk into it and you’re completely unprepared.

3. You won’t know how to be alone

At a young age, it is very important to live by yourself. Whether it’s just for a year, for the summer, or just for a couple of weeks it can teach you to be comfortable with yourself. It is very important to give yourself the gift of true independence before you enter a lifelong relationship.

4. Focus on yourself

Selflessness and love are key players in a marriage. Before you jump into that, there is inherent beauty in respecting and focusing on yourself. It is important to learn the value of giving yourself time to meet your own needs, dreams, and find your passions. Cheer yourself on to be a bigger and better version of yourself.

5. Chase your goals

Chasing your goals can be difficult when you’re trying to compromise and adjust within a marriage. You may hesitate to do things in your career because you want to focus on your husband or wife – that’s not a bad thing. The time after getting a bachelor’s degree is the time to explore, gain experience, and chase your dreams. Marriage can come after you’re satisfied with where you are in life.

6. Let yourself grow

Explore the world and the opportunities that it brings. At such a young age, you don’t really know how to handle responsibility. People mature at different times.

7. You don’t really know what you want in a partner

Everyone has faults, limits and certain attributes that they find detestable in a partner. You have to know what you want before the relationship begins. When you’re in your early twenties, you’re just starting to figure out what you want in life – you can be naïve and impressionable.  Marital problems can begin as one person tries to change the other. You are responsible only for the changes made in yourself.

8. Higher chance of divorce

Divorce rates are highest among couples in their 20s – worldwide. In Pakistan, the most rapidly increasing divorce cases are among couples between the ages of 21 and 30.

9. Pressure from your family

In the Pakistani and desi culture, there is immense pressure to get married. Parents and relatives will tell you that the solution to any problem in your life is marriage. Do not listen to them. Marriage does not solve problems. It can make unresolved issues in your life even worse.

10. Marriage should not control your life

Marrying at an early age can sometimes end up with the marriage controlling your whole life. While things may have progressed for women in terms of financial independence, assertiveness, and confidence – some things haven’t. Male dominance is still a huge issue, especially in desi culture and younger women can be an easy target to control. When your liberty is crushed by a dominating and controlling spouse, it makes you feel captive in your marriage.

11. You can be manipulated to compromise more than you have to

When you’re younger, generally you can be more adaptable and it may be easier for you to settle in with a spouse. When you’re older you are naturally become more mature and realize what you really want in life. You shouldn’t have to compromise and feel compelled to do something just because you’re young and inexperienced.

12. Getting a “great Rishta“

Just because you have received whatever your version of an “amazing rishta” is, does NOT mean that it is time for you to get married. It’s great to get to know someone and see if you understand each other, but jumping into marriage at such an early age isn’t smart. The “yeh rishta haath se jane wala nahi hai” excuse should not be used because the more you expand your horizons the more people you’ll meet. What seems like a great match now, could not be once you’ve explored the world.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so it’s best to be prepared.

Cover photo via: AbsolutIslam.net