Let’s face it, politics is the essence of every Pakistani discussion. Perhaps, it is due to our volatile situation with ousted prime ministers, regular declamations of martial law and highly unstable courts of justice that politics is such an issue to us. Our fascination isn’t surprising of course — we are always at the discretion of our constantly transitioning rulers who can decide the rules on tariffs and taxes, voting procedures, the success of our businesses and even the practice of religion.
Politics is extremely personal and it can affect the way we perceive and treat people, erupting into heated debates and conversations at every dinner party. It seems that, to an extent, our political views can be determined by our background, social circles and life experiences. In a politically exciting arena, like Pakistan especially, we can say that it is possible to type people into specific categories for their political views.
Note: The following list is not to be taken to heart, It is only for laughter’s sake:
1. PTI Supporter
Caution: Loves setting things on fire. Probably studied a humanities subject at uni and thinks they are so woke. You’ve been to an MUN haven’t you? Either that or Mr Imran Khan was your bachpan ka crush. Secretly puts nazar on Maryam Nawaz ki Dolche wali jooti in their free time. Angsty Chicken Burger.
2. PML-N Supporter
Landowner or Business family background and you’re just really all about that Louis, Gucci wala lifestyle and can’t be expected to wait for some white-boy revolution. Socialist ka living nightmare. “Mutlab yaar, khata hai to lagata bhi tou hai.” Indeed, kha kar lagana tou parta hai. Perpetually bringing up Imran Khan’s playboy past. Capable of wearing a fake designer joota to the great outrage of the PTI supporters.
3. PPP Supporter
You either don’t care about politics and only say PPP because your parents and grandparents do or you’re way too old for this website. Ap yahan kaise pohanche? Pretty cool waise, not really into burning trees or arresting people, so kinda peng. I’d add you to my private story on Instagram. Full of nostalgia for the past and believes people just need to look past the accent and have some faith in Bilawal Bhutto.
4. JUI Supporter
Rocking that unchi shalwar like nobody’s business. Loves being part of a movement but pretty chill otherwise. Only there for the sooji halwa and dad jokes. Might fight you if instigated but will eventually come to a compromise. <3
5. MQM Supporter
In a loving relationship with the kaali jeep and golden watch combo. A real party boy, all about that hard drug, liquor. Your bandook and your paan go wherever you go. The image of luxury. At the expense of someone’s head. Basically high most of the time but make it Pakistani Al Capone.
6. He Who Must Not Be Named
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Cover image via@ archive.pakistantoday.com.pk