Marriage is far from an easy breeze. It’s painful, it’s tough and there can be moments of complete disarray, where all you want to do is run in the complete opposite direction. Love really isn’t enough, and if you tread carefully through the murkiness of all the hindrances that come your way, then you can withstand the test of time; weddings might be perfect, but marriages are far from it. They take work, with togetherness, strength and the utmost resilience. Dramas have always shown very realistic projections of marriage, with all the messiness and all the jagged edges, and here are a few lessons you can learn from.

It’s all about trial and error and not giving up.

In ‘Diyar-e-Dil,’ Suhaib was forced into a marriage with Arjumand by his stubborn father. Their beginning as a married couple is distant, unfamiliar and cold. However both are bound by their elders, and despite the hatred for one another, remain wedded in a loveless marriage. Suhaib has a change of heart after a while, and as Arjumand grows harsher by the day, he remains unfazed and his determination to make it work grows after he spends time with her. It wasn’t planned, but he worked with what he had; skip thirty years later, and the two are in the most peaceful marriage in a time where everyone else is at war.

Because if you truly love them, and can’t really imagine a world without them, then giving up isn’t an option really

Taking love lessons from ‘Mann Mayal’ isn’t the best of ideas, unless you have a methodological approach to it. Salahuddin gave up on his love, Mannu after both sides condemned such a union. While Mannu was persistent and never gave up, (even at one point running to his door to beg him to accept her), it was Salahuddin who let her go. His foolishness and mockery of their love is a lesson for everyone out there; don’t give up on the one you love. Period.

Trust is the essence of a happy marriage.

Ashar never trusted Khirad, nor did he believe her when she begged him to believe her over the false accusation that she had committed adultery. Ashar’s egotistic nature and incredibly crude manner broke apart a happy couple, and his dogged determination to trust anyone but his own wife left him fumbling over a torn marriage. Years later, Khirad and her daughter (both shunned from society) return at Ashar’s doorstep – thereby Ashar receiving a second chance from the heavens above.

Honesty is key. If you aren’t honest with one another then that’s when mountains begin to fall.

Yasmeen from ‘Pyarey Afzal’ agreed to marry a broken Afzal because in a moment of blur she thought it was the right thing to do. She knew he was in love with someone else and was only marrying her out of revenge and spite. However, she quickly called off the engagement, even though she loved him incredibly so and could have kept him happy only if he had given her a chance. This was not a case of giving up, no – in fact it was quite the opposite; she was letting go of something that made her less of herself.

Marriage doesn’t constitute being lazy, nor does it constitute lack of expression.

‘Dil Lagi’ had the most bizarre setting between the two protagonists, Anmol and Mohid. Anmol agrees to marry Mohid (who unforgivably pursues her and leaves her little choice) after he attempts at ruining both her and her sister’s life. Mohid comes about fast enough, changing his ways and amending his shortcomings as Karachi’s Godfather. Although the marriage isn’t in the best of situations, it blossoms into two lost souls trying to find themselves. Anmol remains wary of her feelings, however, Mohid wears his heart on his sleeve – gradually Anmol too begins to open up on a journey of realizations.

Always cherish the smaller moments you both have before it’s too late

In stellar drama ‘Mehndi,’ Sajjal’s husband Shahzaib is diagnosed with cancer. The two loved each other tremendously, and this came as quite a shock – nothing could go wrong! Shahzaib eventually succumbs to his illness, leaving behind a broken Sajjal. She cherished his memories, holding him dear in her heart forever.

Allow your friendship to be of the unconditional kind because it doesn’t get better than marrying your best friend.

Kashaf and Zaroon from ‘Zindagi Gulzar Hai’ weren’t exactly friends at the start, however, the more time they spent together, beneath all the bickering and poking fun lay two puzzles that fit entirely so. They become friends rather quickly, and it’s their friendship that flourished their subsequent marriage so wonderfully. Always marry your best friend. Period. There isn’t really anything else much better than that.

Be a team.

In ‘O Rungreza,’ Sassi’s father has no interest in standing his wife by his side. Instead, he spends day on end rushing to another woman’s embrace as his wife watches. Their marriage crumbled far too long ago, and the toxicity that has aroused from it as seeped directly into their daughter Sassi, who suffers from many demons (as a direct result from the mishap her parents are in). She’s rebellious, often incredibly rude to her mother as she emulates her father’s mannerisms. A marriage should and must ALWAYS be a team.

Never settle for an abusive relationship. Leave.

In both ‘Gul-e-Rana’ and ‘Mann Mayal,’ there is abuse in the marriages. Both put up with it, with Gul-e-Rana being more outspoken than a weakened Mannu. Abuse is never alright, and this is something these two particular dramas portrayed brilliantly; a man is like a tiger – he can never change his stripes. Best to leave to avoid any further self-depreciation.

Never stop talking, no matter how busy you might get.

Daniyal from ‘Yakeen Ka Safar’ engulfed himself in this case, much to the dismay of Gaiti, his incredibly serene and calm wife who put up with her husband’s absence at home. The case took over both their lives and while Daniyal grew a little distant, Gaiti couldn’t wind him back in. They barely spoke towards the end of their marriage, that unfortunately fell short after Daniyal was ruthlessly murdered (they were only newlyweds).

Difficulties are impossible, it’s all about plowing through together

Kashaf’s stubbornness from ‘Zindagi Gulzar Hai’ really does get the best of her at times. However, it’s nothing compared to Zaroon’s chauvinistic tendencies that drive him away from Kashaf. While Kashaf is haunted at the thought she might give birth to daughters and have Zaroon walk out on her, Zaroon is plagued by accusations about his wife (that aren’t true). Marriage is no piece of cake, and these two prove it with their insecurities and misunderstandings. Yet neither one give up on another, and face all difficulties together.

What have you learned from dramas? Leave in the comments below!