As cricket runs in the veins of almost every Pakistani and the nation is united only during big tournaments and games, we thought let’s take the opportunity of this big Pakistan India match to list all the types of cricket fans you will meet. Now, whether you’re at a cafe screening with your friends, hanging out at a cousin’s place or just plopped up in front of your own TV at home, you will definitely recognize some of these familiar folks.
1. Armchair Analysts
This is usually that talkative friend or a smartass uncle who can’t help but predict the whole history, physics and chemistry of the game based on each shot that is played.
2. The Bandwagon Fans
These are the type of people who take a mild interest in the game but when it’s a big game, like the current Pakistan India match… oh boy!
3. The Hardcore Fans
Their pick up line is something along the lines of, “Hey girl, be the Ahmed Shehzad to my Afridi”. Don’t ever say anything to their Lalas and Maliks and Akmals or you’ll regret it all your life.
Janab ka saara romance Pakistan se shuru ho ke Pakistan pe khatam hota hai.
4. The Commentators
They will never stop talking.
Aik taraf Ramiz Raja ki commentary and doosri taraf inn ki.
5. The Lotta
They will switch loyalties as fast as Mohammad Amir’s deliveries.
Their fandom extends as far as their tweet being included in a “reactions” piece by the likes of MangoBaaz so they will try all day to tweet some of their wittiest 140 characters on every trend.
7. The Pot Stirrers
These “fans” love controversy, a la Qandeel Baloch. They will side with(and use Facebook frames) of the opposing side just to piss off people around them and don’t necessarily have in political statements to make.
8. The Cry Babies
God forbid, Amir ends up with a couple boundaries in the same over, or Ahmed Shehzad is taken out within the first three overs, these people will be grief stricken. Their wailing will trump any melodramatic scenes in a TV drama.
9. The Skeptics
They know not a soul cares for their negative energy and yet they’ll make a point of spoiling everyone’s excitement before every match with a “shart laga lo aaj phir haarein gae” and when it does turn out to be true, stay far away from their “I told you” so looks.
10. The Aman ki Ashas(or Asha kay Amans)
These people don’t understand the meaning of “healthy sports rivalries”. Every match is a chance for them to toot their horns about forgoing differences and loving each other beyond differences of nationalities.
Bhai, pata hai Bollywood mein Ali Zafar ki entry asaan hai but aap ki shakal nahi hai hero wali jitna marzi bharat pyaar kay dramay kar lo aap.
11. The Green Shirts
And green pants, green shoes, green faces, green nails, green hair… you get the point.
12. The Social Butterflies
These people don’t follow cricket but they sure do love themselves any opportunity to flaunt their latest designer purchases and be seen in pictures of every possible event in their city.
13. The Dazed and Confused
Sadly, this type of fan is worthless because these people don’t really care for cricket, they don’t know who’s playing against whom and they are more of a liability with all their questions about “kia hua?“, “kaun out hua?“, “ye Virat Kohli hai?”
Aaise fan se behtar toh Pedestal fan hi hai.
What type of cricket fan are you?
Cover Image: ESPN Cricinfo