Sometimes your susral can get on your nerves

As much as any of us goes into marriage with the expectation that we will be the perfect family, the reality is generally not as pretty as that. A lot of women face very serious issues with their in-laws in Pakistan, but they’re just assumed to be part of the parcel. There is little or no support available for girls who go through emotional and mental abuse because of the Star Plus inspired issues that are created in their in-laws. We asked around and complied a list of a few of the most common ones, just to help you feel less alone.

1. ‘Jaado ker diya hai betay pay. Bilkul kaboo main aa gaya hai us kay’

Um, we thought your son was entering into matrimony as a responsible, consenting adult? Or is he still the naive little boy who got tricked into giving his jam paratha roll away at lunch time?

2. ‘Mard bano, tum toh uss kay paas say uthtay he nahin ho‘

Instead of being thankful their son’s marriage is turning out to be a happy and stable one, every laugh you guys share is taken as a personal insult. Agar khush nahin daikh saktay toh phir shaadi kyun kervai?

3. ‘Maa Baap kabhi nahin badal saktay, magar yeh rishtey aik second main toot saktay hai‘

How…how is this even a competition?

4. ‘Woh naukar tak ko Aap keh kay bulaati hai, tumhain woh Tum kyun kehti hai?’

‘The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension between people)…one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Shaytaan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” He then embraces him”  (Sahih Muslim and narrated by Jabir Ibn ‘Abdullah).’ Wise Words.

’nuff said.

5. ‘Aisay chaltay hain ghar? 10 bajay toh woh uth kay neechay aati hai‘.

Pehlay bhi toh aap kay ghar ka nizaam chal he raha tha na? Bahu kay aanay say aap kay kitnay kaam barh gae hain?

6. ‘Hum nay bhi paida kiyay hain bachay. Saath saath pooray ghar bhi sambhalay hain. Yeh kya har waqt haye haye kerti rehti hai?‘

The deep breathing technique you’re practicing for labour? It’ll come in handy waaay before you’re due.

7. ‘Iss ka toh ghar main dil he nahin lagta‘

Aap baatein he itni achi kerti hain, kaisay lagay dil?

8. ‘Chalo koi nahin, inshAllah agli dafa zaroor baita ho ga‘.

Aur agar aur bacha kerna he na ho, toh? 

9. ‘Pata nahin kis baat ki itni akar hai. Iss say bhi baray baron ki akar nikali vi hai hum nay‘.

She’s your son’s wife, not a wild horses that needs to be broken and trained according to your needs.

10. ‘Meri toh iss ghar main koi haisiat he nahin hai‘.

This is when you realise Saas Bahu dramas you grew up watching weren’t being dramatic. They were underplaying it the whole time.

11. ‘Tum donon ki larayi kis baat pay ho rahi thi?’

Of course they’re happy that there was a fight, but why were they listening and why do they want to know? Let the couple deal with it.

12. ‘Khanay pay akailay akailay jao gae?’

Just thank God they let you go to sleep alone. If you’re not one of those lucky ones, our sympathies are with you.

13. ‘Mujhay aagay baithna hai, tum peechay baith jao‘.

If you live in a joint system, chances are you never get to sit with your husband in the passenger seat. If its not your Saas or Sussar going with you, its your Nand or your Nand’s Saas Sussar. Basically, anyone but you.

14. ‘Main kaisay ghar say nikloon, pooray ghar ki jo zimmedari meray upar hai‘

L.O.L.  You may think they want you to help around the house, which is fair enough, but the thing is that they won’t actually let you do Anything on your own. They just want a dhabba style ‘chota’ to run around the house.

15. *you offer to help*

‘Nahin nahin beta, bus ho gaya hai’ *husband turns up* Haye Allah, aaj itna kaam kiya hai, main toh thak kay toot gayi hoon‘.

Deep. Breaths.

16. *you offer to make something when guest are coming*

‘Main bana loon gi sab kuch, tum bus salad kaat lo‘.

She won’t let you make anything for guests for fear that word will spread that you’re actually a decent cook yourself. If you do manage to make anything, you’ll catch her asking the guests whose dish was nicer.

17. ‘Aaj kal kissi ka bhi koi aitebaar nahin hai. Kaisay koi bhi naukar rukh lain?’

Bahu jo aagai hai. Why waste the money?

18. ‘Har waqt us kay kaan bharti rehti hai. Bharkany ki koshish kerti rehti hai!’

We’re sure your son is an adult, and can probably understand what manipulation looks like.

Of course not all in-laws are like this…some happen to live in a different time zone. If yours don’t, however, don’t worry! You’re not alone. Rise above the drama and decide its not going to bother you.

13 Absolutely WTF Moments in Your Susraal You Will Inevitably Face

15 Annoying Things That Happen When ‘Rishtay Walay’ Come To See You

Cover image via: Hammad ul hassan / YouTube