Takkaluf is such a pain. For those who don’t know what the concept means, its basically means formality. Formality particularly when you’re with elders or people you don’t really know. Oddly specific, but that just covers most of it. Takkaluf has the power to ruin lives and here’s how:

1. You can never say that you don’t like the food some aunty made. 

Too much salt? Well you better shut up because takkaluf demands you to be quiet. The funny thing is that everyone’s finding the food very salty, but no one will say a word. Everyone will say ‘haan khaana bara acha hai’. 

2. You can’t tell off someone for forcing you to have more.

Its really infuriating when you’re done eating but someone’s like ‘beta aur lo’, and you really cannot have another bite. You’ve said no too many times and now you can see a spoonful of food being dumped on your plate, and guess what Mr.Takkaluf has to say about this. You guessed it, ‘EAT’.

3. Takkaluf dictates that you must first reject a gift and then accept it

You really just want to lunge at it and say ‘Thank You’ but you have to do this whole show. First you’ve got to say the typical ‘nahin nahin, ye kyun’, too which you’ll get the textbook answer of ‘bas kuch nahin, chota sa tou hai’. Spoiler alert: its a huge box. Khair, after some back and forth you finally ‘accept’ it.

4. Sadly takkaluf also makes a return gift necessary. 

Now you can’t just walk back empty handed. That literally breaks all the rules of desi etiquette.

5. Wifi password bhi nahin pooch saktay.

You’re sitting there, you all aren’t even close and you’re bored too. But thanks to our friend; unnecessary formality, you can’t even ask for the password.

6. Asking a guest if they want chai is a nightmare.

You simply cannot ask once. Tauba tauba, that’s like asking them to have gilla with you. You must ask at least thrice, and if they still say no, then you may chill. (PS; quick word of caution, ask just one more-just to be sure)

7. Takkaluf dictates that if someone comes for ‘chai’ to your place at 8PM, you need to offer them dinner too.

Pehlay tou, who comes over at 8 for chai. Just say you want to come over for dinner. Now your Amma will declare an emergency at home, and you have to run to the supermarket to get tamaatar pyaaz for the salan.

8. Oh yeah, you can’t go for seconds (or thirds) because God knows why. 

If you’re with someone with whom you have takkaluf with, then you can’t even eat khul ke. Annoying.

9. Your bladder will be on the verge of exploding but you can’t ask where the bathroom is.

Uff Tauba. You might just pee all over their carpet, but you STILL cannot ask.

10. You can’t refuse what’s being offered to you to eat or drink.

But they didn’t even ask you. WELL that don’t matter- peeyo ab.

11. That awful moment when you have to refuse a free ride home because….

Then you have to order a ride home, which ain’t free.

‘Bhai Jaan ki itni gaari bhi hai yaar’. 

12. You hate someone with all your heart, but you have to use the achay walay bartan for them. 

13. You also need to ‘look nice’ for people you truly despise, even more than Iblees. 

Andar se you might want to give them the biggest lanat ever, but nahin, smile, have a good shirt on and look pretty. Because clearly they deserve it. Manhoos log. 

Our society operates on takkaluf, and its going to be a while before we rid it from our lives. Till then, we’ve got to live with this aazmaish. 

Cover image via: dawn.com