For many a Pakistani women, divorce is possibly the scariest thing that is worse than your worst nightmare, or so we’re taught. All that’s because you’re taught you’re enough of a person, or you’re not a complete woman unless you have a man guiding every move you make.
But what about times when the man in your life literally is not present? Or he walks away?
This is why women should know divorce, or death of the man in your life, is not the end of your life.
Being independent and able to live a life on your own without depending on someone else is important and this inspirational single mother is the ideal example of being able to build yourself a life:
Madiha Parvez, currently an Assistant Professor and head of the Idea Lab at NUST, was married and divorced at a young age. Her daughter was 3 years old when Madiha got divorced but she didn’t let that change in her circumstances deter her from becoming an independent so she can support her daughter and be responsible for, both, her own and her daughter’s lives.
“I got divorced at a young age. My daughter Eishaal was 3 at that time. I was lost, confused and hurt. But I couldn’t afford to sulk in it for long. I knew I was responsible for another human life. I didn’t have a choice but to be brave.”
“However, I was sometimes demoralized to see people pitying my child and me “Haye abhi tu itnee jawan hai, sari zindagi kaisay guzaray gee.” But I didn’t have time to pay heed to all this. I had to work towards OUR better future; I had to make our destiny,” Madiha shares.
Against all odds and amidst people discouraging her, Madiha applied for the Fulbright scholarship to the US. She got in and never looked back afterwards.
“Eishaal was with me every step of the process. I remember I couldn’t afford a babysitter for the evenings, so she ended up accompanying me to college (for the evening classes only); tired after a long day at her school she sometimes complained. I then enticed her that we’d play a game.”
Madiha used to tell her daughter, “mummy would do her work in class and you sit here (in the library) and finish your homework. Let’s see who wins?” With a smile she’d always get on with it, and of course she always won!”
While talking to MangoBaaz, Madiha had following to say for all the Pakistani women out there, “Trust in your abilities. With your will power and faith in God you can overcome any obstacle.”
“Education is the fundamental asset for any individual, especially for women and especially in our culture. It will never leave your side even when others abandon you. It will shield you, protect you and guide you. No matter how difficult your situation is, it is very important to rise again and work towards a new beginning. Life is full of opportunities and lots of happiness. I promise you!
Eishaal and I got our happy ending.”
Madiha’s story certainly puts a twinkle in our eyes.
Cover Image Via: Madiha Parvez