Dr. Obaid Rizvi* is a single father of two young, beautiful daughters.

Aged 22 and 26, his daughters are two of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. They are kind, courteous and their generosity knows no bounds. In short, they are a spitting image of their father. You would think that Dr. Obaid is often congratulated for doing such a great job for raising his daughters the way he has. And often, you do hear people talking about how he’s been a great father.

But more often than that, you hear about all the ways he could have done better. He knows this too, and it saddens him deeply.

“When your own friends tell you to remarry after your wife’s death so that the kids have a mother, it comes as a bit of a shock,” says Dr. Obaid. “I loved their mother deeply. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of a second marriage.”

Dr. Obaid faces criticism of all kinds for being a single father. The most common criticism is that he deprived his daughters of a mother’s love.

“I don’t get it. Why would I ruin a woman’s life, just so that my children could have some imaginary form of love that these people think they would have received? If I can’t keep the woman happy, why would she keep my kids happy? My target was to keep my daughters happy. I wanted them to be healthy and to grow up without feeling like they’ve missed out on a mother’s love. And that’s exactly what’s happened.”

To say that he has done a great job with his daughters would be an understatement.

He managed two little girls while juggling a full-time job as a Professor in one of Karachi’s most prestigious medical universities. In the initial part of their childhood, he doubled down on his work like ensuring he was dropping and picking them up on time, making their lunches, braiding their hair and basically taking care of their every need. For hi, it was essential that his daughters had someone to turn to after a hard day at school.

“None of it was easy,” he states. “But I’d do it all over again.”

Despite the fact that one of his daughters is now married and the other is in university, he still faces criticism for being a single father.

“People still tell me that I should have gotten married. They doubt the fact that I raised my daughters all by myself. Or they nitpick. There’s no pleasing anyone. Nor is there any way to keep them out of my business.”

His daughters are all praises for their father, though.

“No one sees the effort he put in to make sure we never lacked anything in life,” says Sakina*, the elder daughter. “I’m about to be a mom and I keep telling my husband: if you do half as well as abbu did, I’ll be proud of you.”

Sarah,* the younger daughter, shares these sentiments.

“Abbu would be running all over the place. I still remember walking into his room one day and he was lying down, wiping tears out of his eyes. Our dadi had just left after another round of pressuring him into a second marriage. He was exasperated. No one saw how much effort he put in for us. He worked tirelessly. And he bore taunts. He learned how to be a mother and a father. And no one ever saw that. But Sakina and I did. And we’re eternally grateful to him for everything.”

Being a single parent in Pakistan is never an easy task, to begin with.

Single moms have their own struggles that they have to deal with. However, being a single father is no walk in the park either. Here’s to all the single fathers like Dr. Obaid, who have worked tirelessly to give their children all the happiness in the world. May you keep moving forward, despite the aimless criticism. You know you’re doing a great job.

What do you think about this? Let us know in the comments below.

*Names have been changed to protect identities. 

Cover image via hubpages.com